


Bind To/Loyal To

by Anchanee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demonic Possession, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Name Changes, Rune Magic, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-11-19 01:50:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18129368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anchanee/pseuds/Anchanee
Summary: A demon possessing Alec, driving him to suicide? Happened before and certainly not the weirdest thing that had happened to Clary in the Shadow World. That she is the only one to pull him back from the brink, however, is. Now she has to deal with a situation where Alec looks at her like she is the sun, Jace is torn between supporting his parabatai and trusting his girlfriend, and she has to bring her rune-creation-skill to a whole new level. Oh, and the Shadowhunters of old might have been a warrior-race of angel-blood, but they were mean bastards with a competitive streak a mile wide!





	1. Title Picture

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, if you don't want to see Alec suffer, turn around now and never return. I have to admit, his big, brown eyes and that puppy look totally got to me. This plot bunny attacked me after the episode 'Love is a Devil' (S2E08) where Iris drives Magnus party-guests a little insane. Alec hearing Clary accusing him of killing her mother, trying to kill himself totally got to me. I know I should concentrate on 'Sententia', my Harry Potter story, but this idea just wouldn't let go and I literally raced through writing this story. It took me less than 2 weeks by hand. This is the fastest I have ever completed an idea. I know the story reflects that and I would be grateful for a betareader to help me polish it up. However, I really want to know how you like it because I had so much fun writing and editing it, you wouldn't believe it.  
> I tried to add all the tags that might trigger people, to warn them ahead of time. If I've forgotten something, please let me know.  
> Fanfiction is something we all do in our spare time, be it writing, editing or reading. So, though I would love to hear your opinion, please be polite about it, even when you criticise. My heart went into this one as much as into all other stories I write and for that, I think I - as much as every other author in this Archive - deserves your respect.  
> Have a very good day and enjoy.  
> Anchanee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meligaseu has allowed me to use her brilliant picture as a title page. Please check her out on Deviantart (DaisyChan55), because she is amazing!

[Alec and Clary by DasiyChan55 ](https://www.deviantart.com/daisychan55/art/Matthew-Daddario-and-Katherine-McNamara-Manip-704393512)


	2. How Clary Fairchild got a Thrall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alexander," she drew his attention, making him go very still. Only when she gently touched his chin, did he lift his head. Clary's heart broke, when he looked at her, like a mouse facing a phyton. "I have an order for you. A very important order, you must heed at all times." It might have been comical how he perked up, eager and attentive, but there was nothing funny about this situation and all Shadowhunters and Downworlders present tensed instinctively, as Clary wielded the power she had over their friend for the first time. "I need you to never, ever lie to me. Is that understood? When I ask you a question, you will always tell me the truth. Can you do that, Alec?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is quite a harsh beginning, but as I said at the intro, the scene at Magnus loft where Alec tried to jump off the roof really got to me.

At one point, Clary might have wondered how this was her life. But in all honesty, that moment had long since passed. Probably around the time when she had slain her third demon. That was the only reason, she was not out of her mind with panic, when she saw Alec trapped in a black vortex, mere meters from the stairs that led to the safety of the New York Institute. Was she scared? Yes! She would even describe her feeling as sheer terror, but still, her mind was working overtime to think of a way to save her boyfriend's parabatai. Jace and Alec belonged together. It was as simple as that. Fortunately, or not, it was up to her to find a solution for Alec's current dilemma, since the dark-haired Shadowhunter seemed fixated on her, pleading for her forgiveness. Jace was prowling the edge of the circle Magnus had erected to contain the demon, desperately trying to convince his brother that he was not to fault for Jocelyn Fairchild's death. But Alec wouldn't, or couldn't, listen. He was too trapped in his demon-enforced spiral of self-hatred and desperation. And after everything that had happened with Valentine and Sebastian and Lilith, Clary had so hoped to catch a break and just go on patrol with her favourite Shadowhunters. Regrettably, this particular demon seemed to be able to drag up the greatest guilt of a person and magnify it a hundredfold.

"It's okay, Alec, I promise," Clary tried for what felt like the hundredth time. Not that it did any good. "It was a demon. I know that. I never blamed you. There was nothing you could have done!"

"I should have been stronger," the Shadowhunter shivered, tears streaming down his face. "I should have been able to stop myself. I am so sorry, Clary. I will do anything. Anything to make it up to you. I swear!"

"But you don't have to. Alec, really, we're good." She could not help the tears that fell from her own eyes when faced with so much dejection. What should she do? "Magnus, please," she gazed at the warlock who did his best to maintain the circle. "There has to be something! A way to help him."

Fighting against the vortex that tried to encompass them all, the High Warlock of Brooklyn ground his teeth. "The demon feeds of Alexander's guilt. He is the only one who can banish it. But for that to happen, he has to _believe_ that he does not deserve this!"

"Alec, please," Jace implored, as close to the barrier as possible without putting further strain on it. "Clary has forgiven you. Don't let that demon win. You are stronger than this!"

With bloodshot, hollow eyes, Alec turned towards his parabatai. Towards his sister. Towards his lover. Slowly, he shook his head. Blackness crept over his body as if the demon was starting to devour him. His voice was dead when he replied, "But that's the thing. I'm not. Where I strong, Clary's mother … her last living relative … would still be alive. I deserve this. You'll all be better off without me."

"Alexander!"

"Alec!"

"No!"

Magnus, Izzy and Jace were screaming on top of each other. Funny though, it was Simon, whose hand Clary had held in a vice-grip as to not cross the circle herself, who got through to the trapped Shadowhunter. "But Jocelyn wasn't …," after a fraction of a second, he decided that bringing Valentine into this, not when his best friend had killed her own father over him stabbing Jace. Quick-witted, he switched gears, "You might not share the same blood, or the same name, but you've become family. Clary is not alone."

"Your family name," Alec whispered and for a heartbeat, the vortex stilled, and the blackness, that seemed to eat him from the inside receded a fraction. His siblings and lover redoubled their efforts to convince him, to fight the demon, but the trapped Shadowhunter only had eyes for Clary as he implored breathlessly, "I could help you."

"What?" The entire group of Shadowhunters and Downworlders stopped and gapped.

Slowly, the blackness withdrew a little more and something akin to hope lit up Alec's eyes. "I could serve your family. Help you to bring honour to your name. Please, Clary, I could … I know our world, the Clave. I would give it to you. Everything I know. Everything I am. A life for a life. It's an honourable deal. They would agree. It's our way."

"Alec …" Isabelle implored, "Such a binding has not been invoked for at least three hundred years."

"It's an archaic practice," Magnus gave a reason for doubt. His lover would be little more than a slave in everyone's eyes. "You would give up your name, your autonomy. Your abilities, your runes, everything would belong to Clary alone. Please, Alexander, there has to be another way!"

With wide eyes, the redhead looked at Magnus. The mere idea of that much control over another person turned her stomach. It felt too much like what her father had done to his followers. Taking half a step back, she drew strength from Simon, who stood unwavering by her side, before shaking her head, "No, Alec, I don't want your services or your life. You are one of the best fighters of the Institute; it's leader. They need you. Jace, your sister, Magnus, … they need you! I can't …"

Yet before she could finish, Alec seemed to shrink into himself, pulled back into the centre of the vortex. In a broken tone, he whispered, "I understand." All fight … all hope seemed to drain out of him, and the blackness that seemed to mirror his despair started to cover his entire body.

"No, Alec, please, you have to fight this. This is not you," Jace pleaded, sinking to his knees. Looking at the warlock, he demanded, "Let me in. I can help him. I know I can!"

But Magnus shook his head. His voice sounded broken when he explained, "I'm sorry, Jace, but I can't."

"How can you say that?" The blond Shadowhunter screamed. "I thought you loved him!"

The circle wavered, and the vortex sped up, pressing against the barrier to find more victims. But even when forced to see his lover, broken and huddled into himself, Magnus found the strength to secure the barrier. Decisively he replied, "And Alexander would be the first to tell me to protect everyone, by keeping the demon contained."

But Jace barely listened, eyes fixated on his parabatai, imploring, "Alec, please … don't leave me. I need you. I …"

Looking up from his knees, Alec's voice sounded brittle, close to breaking when he assured, "You can. It's okay, Jace. I only will bring you suffering and pain. I disappointed our parents with my selfish desires. I have cost the Lightwood family our good name and the Fairchild family its leader. Clary is right to not want anything to do with me. I only bring misery and death."

"That's not what I meant," Clary cried, clawing at her best friend's arms to keep herself upright. If not for Simon's vampire strength, she would have broken the circle by now, uncaring for the rest of the world. "Alec, please."

"It's alright," the dark-haired Shadowhunter assured her with a soft smile. "A life for a life. That's how it is supposed to be." He seemed serene as if being devoured did not hurt any longer.

"Do it!" The harsh command of Isabelle Lightwood had them all draw up short. But the female did not care about the scrutiny. Her eyes locked with her brother's, who seemed caught between resigned acceptance of his fate and the tentative hope that his sister could turn this around. It would not be the first time Izzy had saved him. After a wordless exchange between the siblings, they turned towards Clary and demanded, "Do it, Clary! Draw the rune."

"But, I …"

"Clary," the female Shadowhunter cut her off. "I have trained with you, advised you and supported you from the moment Jace brought you into our world. Haven't I?"

"Yes, but …" the redhead admitted reluctantly. Isabelle, however, did not let that derail her. "I have helped you to save your mother, and Luke and Simon and I have never asked for anything in return. But now I do. I am asking for this: Save my brother. You are the only one who can."

"I'll be good," Alec breathed, his worlds barely louder than the wind that stirred the leaves around them. "I'll serve you. With everything I have, everything I am and everything I know. Anything you could need to bring honour to your family."

Tears were streaming down Jace's face as he heard his usually so proud brother pleading so desperately. Still, he too turned on his knees and looked up at the love of his life. "We can find a way," he assured her. "We can find a way out of this, but Izzy is right. Nothing matters if Alec does not survive the night."

Clary looked at Simon, who, always the faithful friend, assured her, "You'll do the right thing. Whatever you decide, I'm with you." Taking a steeling breath, she lastly glanced at Magnus. He seemed torn between allowing Alec to sign over his life and … well, in all honesty, there was little alternative. "When I lower the shield, you need to draw this rune over the hollow of his throat."

"There will be no hiding it." She reached for her stele.

"It's not supposed to be hidden," the warlock projected the rune for her, Jace and Isabelle drew their blades.

Kneeling before Clary, baring his throat, their brother suffered through the drawing process with barely a flinch and only offered a weak smile when his clean conscience expelled the demon from his body. He kissed Clary's hand reverently, before falling unconscious at her feet.

* * *

For two days, Alec had to stay at the infirmary. The rune seemed to have burned through his neck, inflaming the tissue of his throat. They treated him with healing runes and salves, kept the wound clean and bandaged, but nothing seemed to work. Though he remained mute, his change of status was broadcasted every waking moment. As soon as Alec woke, he started looking for Clary. When she was not close, he grew restless. When she was near, he looked at her with so much adoration, as if she was the most important being in the universe. Simon retreated an hour after sunrise, to attend his courses at the university. Magnus made it through the first thirty hours before he cited 'research' to flee the Institute. Alec did not even seem to notice his lover leaving.

He recovered just fine from his run-in with the demon and was able to hold a brief - written - conversation with his siblings. But as soon as Clary was gone, he started asking for her, needing the reassurance that she was not displeased with him and would return soon. At the fifty-hour mark, it became too much for Clary as well, and she fled the building.

She called Simon for a small sliver of normality, as Jace seemed fused to his parabatai's side. The two did not know many supernatural bars that catered to the whims of Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike, so they hid out at the Hunter's Moon. Simon smiled at Maya and stole a quick kiss, as she served them.

"I know you're not interested in Alec, but the way he looks at you …," Simon made a helpless gesture, and only Clary's fast reflexes kept his 'Bloody Mary' from being swiped off the table.

"I know," she sighed. "It's not real. This infatuation Alec has with me is all thanks to that damn rune, but …. just seeing him like that … a few weeks ago, I was not even sure that he liked me and now he ignores Magnus, ignores his parabatai and looks at me like …"

"Like you are the sun and he needs you for photosynthesis," Magnus finished her sentence, claiming a chair facing the friends. "And who could fault him for that? You are his very reason for living, Clary Fairchild."

"But that's just …"

"Wrong!" Simon sighed, seeming as lost as his friend.

"Be that as it may, it is still true," the warlock waved their protests away, yet watched them with hawk's … well … cat's eyes, as he added, "But there may be something we can do about it."

"Really?" Clary asked hopefully, not disappointing him. "Tell me! What can I do to make Alec, Alec again?"

Opening a portal, the warlock offered his hand. "Come with me, and I will show you."

* * *

"Wow," Simon reverently brushed over the long lines of scrolls that filled the shelves around them. Magnus was distributing witch-fire, while Clary drew light runes on the stone basins around them to enhance the fiery glow. The huge room they were in felt dry, but some dripping could be heard at a distance. "This is amazing, Magnus. Where are we?"

Where his thoughts not occupied with his beloved's recovery, the warlock would have felt humbled by the trust Clary, and Simon had shown him by following him through a portal to an unknown destination. As things were, he was only grateful that he had not needed to offer long-winded explanations. Now, however, he could take the time. "Egypt. Alexandria to be precise."

Staggering, Clary inquired incredulously, "Are you telling us, that you have brought us to the sunken library of Alexandria?"

Rolling his eyes, the warlock started to inspect the available scrolls and pulled several from their places. "Of course not. The great library of Alexandria was destroyed two-thousand years ago. This is the magical library that was sealed to the public around the same time."

"If it is sealed, how come that we are here?" Simon wanted to know, automatically lending a helping hand.

"Because the first coven who taught me, was the one who sealed it," Magnus responded, flashing his cat-eyes.

"Okay, …" the redhead stepped up to the table. "And why are we here now?"

"Because," the warlock explained, "This is the place with the most comprehensive collection of ancient runes. I have studied the 'Bind To/Loyal To' rune, you used on Alexander. I knew the consequences, just not all implications. I needed a few hours to remember where I have studied it."

"Bound To? Loyal To?" Clary blanched. "But you all said that it would make Alec part of my family, not exchange one possession for another!"

"We did not tell you anything of the sort. We gave you the tools to save him!"

"So, you lied to me?" The redhead glared.

Hugging her from behind, Simon whispered, "Had you known that you would 'possess' Alec, would you have done it?"

"Of course not!" Clary growled. "That's atrocious!"

"Well, they needed to save their brother-slash-parabatai-sash-lover's life." Her best friend explained. "Their 'selective information' policy is kind of understandable, in that light. Don't you think?"

Leaning into her best friend's embrace, the Shadowhunter massaged the bridge of her nose. "Yes, … I mean, I don't like it, but I guess I see where they were coming from. Had it been you instead of Alec, I would have stopped at nothing to save you."

Grateful for Simon's voice of reason, but unwilling to show it, Magnus soldiered on, "Well, thanks to our 'selective information', we now have the time to find a solution."

Taking a deep breath, the redhead nodded and looked at the scrolls and tomes, "Alright, let's find a way to free Alec. Where do we start?"

"Clary," Moved by her determination - few would as easily give up the weapon, a blindly obedient Shadowhunter could be - Magnus reached for her hand. "We won't be able to do that."

"What?" the girl raged, "then what is the point of all this?"

"The point is, to give Alexander as much autonomy as possible. There are 'sibling' runes to the one you used. Ones that can tighten the chains around your thrall's mind. But others can offer leniency, freedom of movement, freedom of thought, even freedom for the bondsman's emotions to a certain extent. At least in theory."

Trading a look with her best friend, Simon offered the question, Clary felt incapable of asking, "What does 'to a certain degree' mean?"

Sighing, the warlock revealed, "As of two days ago, you have become the centre of Alexander's universe. And while we might be able to tone that down, you will remain something like the sun to him. He while might learn to make his own decisions, to decide upon his own actions, everything will be done with you at the back of his head. Every thought and action will be judged if it would please you or not."

"So, you knew you would lose him," Clary concluded tonelessly. "The moment you showed me that rune, you gave up on him."

Smiling through his heartache, Magnus just shrugged. "When you have lived immortal, you learn that nothing is impossible. So, who knows, maybe, one day, Alexander might return to me. I know that I will never be as important to him as you. But I think having a little of his heart, with him being healthy and whole, is better than losing him to a demon out of selfishness."

Reaching for his poorly manicured nails, two days of nothing but research had not been kind on the warlock, she promised, "We will find a way. I made him a part of my family. But who is to say that I can't have a brother instead of a servant? I certainly have no interest in a slave, without a mind of his own."

Awed by that resolve and the sheer goodness of Clary Fairchild, Magnus opened an old tome for her. "Draw this rune on your forehead. It will enable you to read these ancient texts."

"A rune in the middle of my face. Lovely," the redhead mumbled but did as she was told.

"Don't worry," the warlock chuckled. "It fades after a few hours.

"What about me?" Simon wanted to know. He wavered when a spell washed over him. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"No throwing up on the scrolls," Magnus warned. "Now hop to it. We don't have all day!"

Well, they did, but the High Warlock of Brooklyn did not want to linger in these ancient halls any longer than necessary. The knowledge in most of these scrolls was old and dark. And like most things old and dark, a few of them hovered just on this side of sentience. Best not to feed them more emotions and push them the rest of the way. After all, there had been a very good reason for his first coven to seal this library after the Great Library had fallen. It was unlikely that the spells and curses, wards and blessings gathered here had bonded together to cause an earthquake. Unlikely … but not impossible.

* * *

Their research painted a gruesome picture. In times of old, the Bind/Loyalty Rune had been used to subjugate spoils of war. They had been branded like kettle and Clary felt like throwing up, when she read the detailed descriptions of the advantages of such a binding ritual. The Shadowhunters of the past had not even bothered with shackles or chains. No, they had twisted the minds of their victims, making it impossible for them to flee from their new owner. The thralls were subdued, submissive, unable to even _think_ about disobeying their new masters. She actually _had_ dry-heaved when reading a passage that went on and on about the docile mindset of the victims. The mere thought of Alec - strong, competent, Head of the New York Institute - Alec, had brought her to tears. If anybody in this world did not deserve such a fate, it was him. He always cared. Always put everybody else before himself. To have him twisted in a way that made him utterly incapable of even takin Jace's wellbeing into consideration was just so wrong! Simon had pulled her into his arms, putting himself between her and that devious tome. After taking that particular book away, Magnus had promised that there were ways around such constrictive bindings. Only then had she been able to go on.

Right now, Clary was sketching long forgotten runes, that might help with Alec, into a notebook Magnus had conjured and warded for her when Simon's puzzled voice interrupted her thoughts. "Clary, who has prepared Alec's meals for the last two days?"

"I did," was her absent-minded reply, while she tried to decide if it was possible to combine newly created runes. Probably not. The outcome would be even more unpredictable than drawing them one at a time …

Simon touching her shoulder brought her back to the conversation. Shaking her head, she elaborated, "He would not touch anything Izzy made - not that I hold that against him - and Jace can't cook to save his life." The pair traded a grimace because while Isabelle Lightwood had numerous talents, cooking just wasn't one of them. And her adoptive brother was content with anything that would fuel his body, simply not bothering with elaborate meal preparations. "Why do you ask?"

Opening a scroll over her notes, the vampire pointed at a particular passage. Renewing the rune on her forehead, she had become pretty good at drawing it blind by now, Clary studied the information. Blanching, she whispered, "Oh my god." Then, she shouted, "Magnus." When the warlock did not reply immediately, she swiped up her pen and paper and screamed, "MAGNUS!"

Emerging from a shelf, the warlock berated, "This is a library, you know. Even if we're the only ones here, it's bad manners to shout."

However, before he could elaborate, a pale Clary shut him up, "We need to return to the Institute right now!"

"Why? I know other tomes might be useful. I just need to find them. We are not finished yet."

Gesturing towards her friend, Simon offered the scroll. Magnus blanched immediately and with an elaborate gesture opened a portal the next heartbeat. Once the trio had jumped through, they landed in the infirmary. The empty infirmary! Dashing out, Clary took hold of the first Shadowhunter that passed her. "Alec! Where is he?"

"His room, I guess?" The young man replied confused. "They said he would not stay put and that he is mostly okay again. I think his sister and parabatai finally managed to convince him that he needed more rest after the demon-attack."

Racing down the corridors, Clary panted, "Simon, … could you … salt water and …"

"Honey," Her friend added, "On it!" He speeded in the opposite direction.

Once Clary burst into Alec's room, Magnus hot on her heels, a picture of misery greeted her. Jace was pacing, looking incredibly pissed. Izzy stood by the window, exhausted, talking to her brother. Alec, however, was the worst off. His face appeared devoid of emotion as he sat on the window-sill, staring into the night, ignoring everybody else. It seemed that they had been gone for more than a day, and while Clary remembered cat-naps and conjured Starbucks, she had not given any thought to the passing of time. Too engrossed in learning everything she could to make this right.

Jace was in her face, the moment she entered. Her usually so caring boyfriend growled, "Where have you been? He asked after you every few minutes. He did not eat. Did not drink. Apparently, all food has to be approved by you! Also, leisure activities such as - gee, let me think - sleeping!"

"I know," Clary mumbled, brushing Jace aside. Everything in her screamed to comfort him, but right now, she could not take the time. Alec had to be her main priority. The dark-haired Shadowhunter whipped around at the mere sound of her voice, his eyes drinking her in as if she was the last drop of water to his desert.

"Clary," he rasped, sounding as if he had chewed on glass. It seemed that the ancient texts had been right. For the foreseeable future, her thrall's runes, his mind, the most basic demands of his body, like the need for sleep and sustenance, would have to be sanctioned by her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, nearly falling off his seat in his haste to reach her.

"Alec," she breathed out. Torn by the picture the usually so strong Shadowhunter made. But before she could finish, Magnus held her back, mumbling into her ear, "Remember, the liege is never at fault." Forcing herself to stand back, she merely opened her arms. When Alec sank to his knees before her, she cupped his cheek and assured him, "It is alright. I am here now."

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He sobbed, wrapping his arms around her, sagging against Clary's body. "I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

"How can you," Jace hissed, clearly torn between his love for Clary and his parabatai. "How can you imply even for a second, that Alec is at fault? You were the one who abandoned him! Running off to angels know where, with your little vampire!" Glaring at her accusingly, he seemed ready to physically pull Alec away.

"She wasn't …" his parabatai started, reluctantly pulling back. "Clary can go wherever she wants with whomever, she wants. She's not, … she …," seemingly at a loss, the thrall tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for his liege's behaviour, but the rune could not help with that. Sensing his distress, Clary started to card her fingers through his hair, soothing him, "It's alright, Alec. Your parabatai just doesn't understand. But we will make him. Right?"

Relieved, Alec smiled up at her, leaning into the caress like an eager puppy. "But first things first. A thrall I can barely understand is of no use to me." Before the young man could apologise again, Clary pulled out her stele. "Where is your healing rune?"

Wordlessly, Alec pulled up his shirt, and when the redhead activated the rune, a shudder ran over his form. His voice was warm when he whispered gratefully, "Thank you, Mistress."

"Clary," she corrected immediately. "I wish for you to call me Clary. Mistress can be anybody, but I am special."

Smiling up at her, the Shadowhunter nodded happily. "Clary. My Clary."

"That's right, your Clary." She confirmed, caressing his head again as if he was a dog that had performed a new trick to satisfaction. "And you are my Alec, Aren't you?"

"Yes," he replied blissfully, nuzzling into her hand.

"Now tell me, Alec. When was the last time you have eaten?"

Kneading his hands in his lap, he looked down and mumbled, "When you brought me dinner yesterday."

"I see," sinking down at the bottom of his bed, Clary held out her hand for the glass Simon had brought only moments ago. Beckoning her thrall closer, Alec reluctantly sat down beside her. He pulled up his knees and folded his body around them. Offering the glass, she commanded, "I want you to take a small sip of this every fifteen to twenty seconds. You can do that for me, right?"

"Yes, Clary," he confirmed eagerly, reaching for the drink, before settling more comfortably on the bed. Having been given an order seemed to calm him considerably.

"I'm hungry," she then threw out, looking at the assembled Shadowhunters and Downworlders. "Any suggestions?"

"After everything that has happened, how can you think of food now?"

Lovely, Jace didn't seem to be able to catch up to the problem. He retreated a little when his parabatai glared at him. Izzy however, though she had not said anything until now, merely observing, suggested out of the blue, "Pizza?"

Wrinkling her nose, Clary shook her head, "Too rich. I'm in the mood for something light."

"There is this lovely Thai Place around the corner," Magnus revealed.

"Too spicy."

Understanding his best friend of many years, Simon smiled, and offered, "I can dash over to the Jade Wolf and bring chicken soup and Dim Sum. You know, the little ones with shrimps, you like so much. Maybe some fried rice?"

"Perfect," Clary smiled at him before the vampire made a run for it.

For a minute, nobody said anything, until Alec turned the empty glass in his hands.

"You're finished, I'm proud of you." When the young Shadowhunter beamed at her, she added, "You can do that again, right? With a glass of water?"

"Yes!" He replied eagerly and seemed ready to get up, when Magnus snapped his fingers, refilling the glass. "I …" the young man seemed indecisive if magic was allowed. He only relaxed when Clary nodded, "Thank you, Magnus," before she started to caress his knee. Once he was finished with his second glass, she pondered, "I think I would prefer you in a different outfit with clean bandages."

"I'll help him," Izzy jumped at the chance, and Alec smiled gratefully, after Clary's encouraging nod.

As soon as the siblings were gone, the redhead opened Alec's wardrobe. She sighed at the overwhelming number of monochrome items. Not even one goofy shirt to indicate her Shadowhunter's preference in sleepwear. She started rifling through his sweatpants when Jace turned her around. Though he was not harsh with her, his agitation was written into every line of his body. "Did you not do enough already? Is not even his underwear save from you? He needs …"

"Pyjamas, Jace," Clary interrupted him. "I'm looking for Alec's preferred sleepwear."

"Shirts and boxers?" Magnus suggested, but the blond shook his head. Reaching for a pair of worn pants and a soft, washed-out shirt, he threw them onto the bed. "We don't sleep half naked here at the Institute."

"Always prepared, like the good little boy scouts you are," the warlock teased. Clary was beyond grateful when those two started bickering. Taking a deep breath, she added a pair of thick socks to the mix, before approaching the bathroom. At her knock, Izzy opened. Taking the clothes, the girl smiled, "That's his favourite shirt."

"Jace helped."

Nodding, Izzy promised, "We'll be out in a minute."

"He can take his time," Clary assured, but the raven-haired Shadowhunter shook her head. "No, he really can't."

"Izzy," reaching for her arm, the redhead stated quietly, "For all it's worth. I'm sorry."

"We'll talk later."

Simon entered with a dozen bags in his hands not long after, Alec had emerged from the bathroom. Both boys hovered indecisively before Magnus jumped into action. "I think this calls for a picknick." With a snap of his fingers, a red-and-white-checkered plaid appeared. Complete with porcelain dishware and crystal glasses.

Studying the setup, Simon chuckled, "I brought coke and plum wine. But why not?"

Sinking gracefully to the floor, Magnus lectured, "When given a chance, one should always dine with style."

"I can't believe you all, …" Jace started, but shut up when Isabelle demanded, "Sit down and eat." Still, despite giving in, he did not stop glaring at everyone but Alec, as the later sank to his knees after Clary had patted the blanket by her side. Simon handed out the food and started chatting about the Jade Wolf. Clary accepted a box of Dim Sum and a Styrofoam cup of chicken-noddle-soup, gratefully. Handing over the soup and a spoon, she instructed quietly, "Eat this, but take your time."

"Like with the water."

"Exactly," When she smiled at her thrall, Alec took the dish and started eating. He flinched slightly, at the first bite. Her voice cut through the chatter, Simon had so painstakingly initiated, when she asked alarmed, "What's wrong, Alec?"

Instantly on alert, the shaggy-haired Shadowhunter tensed and seemed to shrink into himself. Avoiding her eyes, he replied quietly, "Nothing, Clary. Everything is fine." As if to prove it, he took another bite. However, despite his admirable composure, they could all see that swallowing hurt him.

"Alexander," she drew his attention, making him go very still. Only when she gently touched his chin, did he lift his head. Clary's heart broke, when he looked at her, like a mouse facing a phyton. "I have an order for you. A very important order, you must heed at all times." It might have been comical how he perked up, eager and attentive, but there was nothing funny about this situation and all Shadowhunters and Downworlders present tensed instinctively, as Clary wielded the power she had over their friend for the first time. "I need you to never, _ever_ lie to me. Is that understood? When I ask you a question, you will always tell me the truth. Can you do that, Alec?"

If he were nodding any faster, he would have given himself whiplash, and his body language and voice were equally eager, when he confirmed, "Yes, Clary. Of course, I can!"

"Excellent," she praised, caressing Alec's cheek before she repeated her initial question. "Then you can certainly tell me what is wrong?"

Realising that he had verbally backed himself into a corner, the Shadowhunter lowered his eyes again and whispered, as if ashamed of the admission, "My throat still hurts."

Looking at Izzy and Jace for guidance, she wanted to know, "Can we try the healing-rune again?"

"No," His sister vetoed the idea, and Jace explained, "If we use the rune too often for the same injury, it loses its potency."

It was clear that Alec did not enjoy being the topic of conversation since he curled into himself the longer it went on. However, he was kept from fleeing, by Clary's hand on his thigh, that was rubbing soothing circles over the soft material of his pants.

"It's probably just a little inflamed. Maybe warm tea with honey would help." Izzy and Jace glared at Simon for daring to suggest such a mundane treatment. Magnus, however, nodded his consent. "You are probably right. But I think a dash of magic would cure it faster. You want your thrall in top shape as soon as possible, don't you, Clary? So, with your permission, …?"

"You're right, of course." The redhead made an inviting gesture. "Be my guest."

Alec seemed ready to bolt when she let go of him, but gratefully latched onto her hand, when she wove their fingers together. Still, he obediently stilled when Magnus healed him. The warlock wavered only a little on his knees, once he was finished a few minutes later, but assured them with a lavishing gesture, "See, nothing a little magic can't cure."

The remaining Shadowhunters were fixated on Alec, when he took his next bite, exhaling in relief when he nodded with a tiny smile. Hence, they did not realise that Simon needed to steady Magnus when the warlock swayed on his knees. Immediately, the vampire offered coke and pushed fried rice at the exhausted man. Magnus accepted the provided food and drink with a grateful smile, leaning against the vampire a little to keep from toppling over.

After the soup, Clary handed over some white rice with steamed vegetables, that were eaten without comment. They were just wrapping up the meal, comparing their ridiculous fortune cookie texts, when Alec asked quietly, "Clary, will you punish me for what I have done wrong?"

The redhead was just about to shake her head, when Magnus toppled over Jace's glass with a gesture, spreading plum wine all over the blanket. While the others started moping that up, the warlock looked at her imploringly. Clearing her throat, Clary took a deep breath and recalled the texts she had studied that day. Turning towards her thrall, she confirmed empathically, "Of course, I will. How else will you learn?"

Jace seemed ready to bite her head off again but was stopped short when Alec sagged in relief and mumbled, "Thank you."

Looking around, Clary smiled, as inspiration hit her for his 'punishment'. "We will meet again tomorrow at eight. By the time I want you showered, dressed in an outfit of Izzy's choosing and have breakfast prepared for all of us."

"I can do that!" Her thrall confirmed eagerly. "What do you want to eat?"

"Well," she pondered, "since I'm not familiar with the ranges of dishes you can cook, let's start with your favourite. That way I know, it will be good. Afterwards, we can talk about your duties."

When the Shadowhunter confirmed that zealously, she smiled proudly and nudged him towards the bathroom. "Now prepare for bed. I want you well rested tomorrow."

"Shouldn't I clean up first?"

With a snap of his fingers, Magnus vanished the mess. The warlock swallowed around a constricting throat at the look his lover, well, former lover gave him. There was gratitude in Alexander's eyes, but something more. However, right now, Magnus could not afford to read too much into that. First, they had to make sure that Alec got better.

"But he never wears turtle-necks," Jace protested, when Isabelle sorted through her brother's clothes, only to have her snap at him. "He will, for the foreseeable future. They are the only way to hide his new rune. And that's the goal here, isn't it?" Looking at Clary, the raven-haired beauty raised an eyebrow.

Clary hastened to confirm that. "It is. I do not want to broadcast his new status without his input."

"As if his input mattered to you, tonight!" Jace spat accusingly. Only to have Alec in his face, the second the Shadowhunter left the bathroom.

"Stop badmouthing Clary!" He hissed, seemingly ready to fight his parabatai on the matter.

Her name still sounded a lot like 'Mistress' from her thrall's lips, but Clary was aware that she needed to count her blessings. At least until she got the chance to alter Alec's perception of her. A fight between the two parabatai, however, would not help. So, she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Alec. Just a little lover's spat. I'm sure you know how they go."

Reluctantly, he pulled back, torn between glimpsing at Magnus, glaring at his brother, and fulfilling his liege's wishes. The others filtered out of the room, as he went over his orders once again. "I'll go to bed now. Tomorrow I'll prepare breakfast. And if I do good, I am forgiven."

Gently caressing his cheek, Clary smiled comfortingly. "When you do good, you will be forgiven."

Like a child, Alec scrambled for the bed and smiled gratefully as his ~~mistress~~ Clary pulled the sheets up. He smiled blissfully when she kissed his forehead and whispered, "You did good tonight. I was very proud of you."

"Thanks," his last word came out more as a slur since Alec had closed his eyes already, drifting off to sleep with a content smile on his face.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "… he acts like a puppet." Jace finished dejectedly, sinking onto the chair of Clary's vanity, messing up his hair. "He's not supposed to do that."  
> "Actually, he is," Magnus contradicted, and Clary confirmed that with a sigh. "The Bind To/Loyalty to Rune is actually just the first in a set of runes meant to either enslave a spoil of war or grant more liberties in his or her new house."  
> Shuddering at the thought, the blond asked hoarsely, "How much worse could it get?"


	3. Freedom of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary straightened and ordered harshly, "Get out of my sight. Help Simon or Magnus, but I don't want to see you, right now."  
> "Clear, please," Alec whispered desperately, reaching out for her. But she merely pulled back and challenged in an icy tone, "Did you or did you not lie to me?"  
> "I did," he admitted brokenly. When she pointed towards the exit, he left without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get one rune or rune-set per chapter, but somehow this one would have been too short, so Alec will, in fact, receive one rune and a rune-set in this one, whereas we will deal with the effects of the rune-set in the next chapter. I hope you will all enjoy it nevertheless.

"I know you and Alec have not always seen eye-to-eye, Clary. But how could you do this to him? He's my brother!" Jace accused, hurt evident in his voice, as soon as she closed the door to her room, where everybody had gathered. "You treated him like a dog! Sit! Down! Roll over! What were you thinking?"

Simon, who had pulled a teary-eyed Clary into his arms, turned towards her 'oh so supportive' boyfriend to defend his best friend, but she held him back. "Don't, Simon," she whispered dejectedly. "Jace is right."

"No, he isn't," Izzy interrupted her self-loathing, her voice snapping like her whip. Surprisingly, the younger Lightwood's anger seemed directed at Jace instead of Clary, as she explained, "Newsflash, Jace. In the last two hours, Clary managed to get food and drink into our brother. She made him take a shower, healed his wound and calmed him enough so he can sleep. That is more than we have managed in the last day!" Claiming the foot of Clary's bed, the girl studied the redhead. "Clearly, she has a better understanding of this situation - a situation we forced on her may I remind you - than us! What I would like to know now, is how she plans on going on? Because clearly, you have something on your mind." She had turned towards Clary during her last sentence, looking at her fellow Shadowhunter expectantly.

Trading a glance with Simon and Magnus, she sat down beside Isabelle. "Actually, I have. We did some research."

"Where?" Jace interrupted impatiently.

"Alexandria," Simon snapped. "Now would you shut up and let her explain?"

Smiling gratefully, Clary took a deep breath and explained, "The rune you asked me to use, the Bind-Loyalty Rune was used in ancient times to integrate conquered Shadowhunters into rivalling Institutes."

"We know," Izzy confirmed. "That's why we asked for it. But usually, it should not have made him this submissive. Of course, his loyalties should have shifted from Lightwood to Fairchild, but he …"

"… he acts like a puppet." Jace finished dejectedly, sinking onto the chair of Clary's vanity, messing up his hair. "He's not supposed to do that."

"Actually, he is," Magnus contradicted, and Clary confirmed that with a sigh. "The Bind To/Loyalty to Rune is actually just the first in a set of runes meant to either enslave a spoil of war or grant more liberties in his or her new house."

Shuddering at the thought, the blond asked hoarsely, "How much worse could it get?"

At that, the High Warlock of Brooklyn drew a deep breath. "There are things you have to understand, Jace. The runes of your Grey Book, the ones you use now, are rather tame compared to the basic set, the angel Raziel gave to the first hunters. They were able to do a great many things, much more complex than simple 'strength' or 'stamina' or 'healing' as you rely upon now. But even in the old days, there was nothing more taxing than to ensnare someone's mind. Making someone obedient is quite easy. A little compulsion and you have it. But to make a warrior give up his allegiance, his family … _that_ is another matter entirely. So, the first Shadowhunters took the syllables the angel gave them and developed sets of runes, specifically for that purpose."

"So, you are saying," Izzy clarified, "That there are a whole bunch of 'basic' runes, we don't even know about any longer? Runes that could be combined in any way to make us even stronger?"

"Or weaker," Simon gave a reason for concern.

"In this case," Clary shared. "The Bind/Loyalty rune is just the focal point, and it can go either way. Depending on what the liege wants."

"Then why not let it wear off and give Alec the chance to get back to his old self?" Jace asked hopefully.

Having suggested precisely that a few hours prior, Simon shot that idea to pieces. "Because nobody can predict what the rune would leave in its wake. Alec could become obsessed with Clary, unable to live without her. Or depressed, because the residual traces of the rune-magic would leave a compulsion in his mind he had no idea what to do with." Or he could become suicidal. But neither Simon, Clary nor Magnus felt any need to mention that.

Fortunately, Isabelle brought them all back on track. "You said there was a set of runes, that could grant Alec more liberties. Why did you not use any of them tonight?"

"Because of the demon."

"Mind magic, Isabelle, as you are undoubtedly aware off, is greatly influenced not only by the mindset of the warlock but that of the victim as well."

Surprisingly, it was Jace who connected the dots. "And because that demon had him convinced that he is not worth anything - lest he proves himself to Clary - Alec doubts that he deserves even the tiniest bit of leniency."

With a heavy heart, Cleary confirmed. "If I don't get this right. If I can't make Alec believe, that every single rune I draw on him is for _my_ benefit, he will reject them. And we don't know what could happen then!"

Reaching for her trembling fingers, Isabelle squeezed them comfortingly. "Alec has been healed, has eaten and is sleeping comfortably. Given the circumstances, you did amazing, Clary. We are all very grateful. And now that we know what to look for, we will all do our best to help you."

"Yea," Jace confirmed, stepping up to his girlfriend, looking all apologetic. Tentatively, he closed his arms around her, "I was a jerk. I'm really sorry."

"He's your parabatai," Clary sighed, sinking against him somewhat reluctantly. "I get it." And she did. But that had not made his accusations any easier to bear. She knew that they had stemmed from concern for his brother, rather than anger at her. Still, it would have been nice to know that her own boyfriend trusted her more than to believe her capable of degrading his brother like that.

Magnus was the last to leave, but the redhead held him back at the door. "Listen, I won't pretend to know what you are going through, seeing Alec like this and all. But even you need to sleep eventually. You might be immortal, but you can't simply go 24/7. We need to return to Alexandria, tomorrow. And you won't be of any help if you topple over from exhaustion before we're even through the portal."

"I," the warlock bristled but deflated with his next exhale. He was running on fumes and well aware of it. "I will see you tomorrow at breakfast. Good Night, Clary."

"Do you think he will sleep?" Simon asked when it was just the two of them. Sighing, Clary starfished on her bed. "Sure, in the middle of research. When he simply can't keep his eyes open any longer."

Sitting down cross-legged beside his best friend, the vampire reminded her. "You are not alone. Everybody cares for Alec. We'll get through this. Together."

With a weak smile, she patted his knee, "See you tomorrow for breakfast?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Simon grinned, before leaving.

* * *

Shortly before eight, the next morning, Clary found the Lightwood siblings in the kitchen, arguing quietly. "She'll like it. Relax, Alec. Clary specifically told you to cook _your_ favourite. So, she can't _not_ agree with what you've made."

"But I like pancakes as well," her brother argued, obviously hovering at the edge of a panic attack. "She's American through and through. Maybe she hates English Breakfast. And the hash-browns are soggy anyway. I should just start over."

"Don't you dare throw those away!" Izzy growled, reaching for the dish to rescue it. "They are crispy and golden and perfect!"

Determined to spare her thrall further anguish, Clary pushed through the door with a smile on her face. "Good morning, something smells delicious around here. What are we having?" Within moments, she had a cup of perfectly brewed coffee in her hand and was guided to the breakfast nook.

"I made English Breakfast. But if you don't like it, I can whip up some waffles or pancakes or an omelette."

"Morning," Jace interrupted his parabatai's starting anxiety attack, by entering the kitchen. Obviously, he had been training already, since he wore nothing but threadbare pants and a muscle shirt. Izzy ieeeked and pushed him away, as he slid onto the bench beside her, but Jace merely chuckled and started to fill his plate with a little bit of everything. "Perfect," he groaned around a mouth full of beans and sausage, only to get reprimanded by Alec, "Clary has not even had a single bite. Where are your manners?"

Chuckling, Clary inquired, "So, what would you recommend?" And when her thrall only starred at the assortment of dishes, unsure and getting more nervous with every passing moment, she jumped at the chance. "Really, Alec?" She laid on the disappointment so heavily that even Jace and Isabelle interrupted their bickering. But contrary to yesterday, the blond did not come to his parabatai's defence. Instead, he clenched his fists under the table and closed his eyes to gather himself. It was obvious that he _wanted_ to trust Clary, but it only got harder when Alec mumbled, "I'm sorry," his eyes starting to get wet.

"Well," she pulled out her stele. "Maybe an additional rune would spare me your tedious indecisiveness." According to script, her thrall jumped at the chance to become better for her. Eagerly he took off his shirt and sank to his knees beside her. "Please, Mis… Clary!" A mere glance in his eyes was all the confirmation she needed. Alec … her bondsman really wanted this. Not for himself, but for her. Those were the ideal requirements for the first rune to take. So, she tilted his head back, collecting herself, and then started to draw the Freedom of Mind rune right under the first one. He did not flinch, on the contrary. Alec was leaning into her hand as if her touch was his greatest desire.

He startled for a moment when the two runes fused and then pulled his turtle-neck back on. He prepared a plate for Clary, after her inviting gesture, and then one for himself. Choosing a little bit of everything, he served it with a smile, before sliding onto the bench next to her. When she praised, "Delicious!" after her first bite, he began to eat with an honest smile on his face.

It was already past nine when Magnus finally joined them; sleep ruffled an in yesterday's clothes. When Alec jumped at the chance, at Clary's simple order, "Breakfast for Magnus, please." The warlock sighed contently when his lover served him a full English Breakfast with two grilled tomatoes but no hash browns. "I see, you have received your first additional rune, Alexander."

Unexpectedly, Alec actually replied, cheekily, "Well, a servant who can't serve his Mistress is of little use."

"Freedom of Mind, I gather?"

"Exactly." Clary blushed at the wordless praise when the warlock raised his tea-cup at her. The additional runes were tricky business, or so they had learned. In theory, they could be applied in any order. However, one had to take possible cross-effects into consideration. Magnus had speculated that it was best to group them. Mind. Heart. Body. Soul. But had not been able to offer advice on where to start. In the end, the most important thing was Alec _wanting_ them. Really considering them an improvement of his … or rather Clary's position.

Once everyone was satisfied, Alec cleaned the dishes, while Jace and Izzy got changed. As he was finished, he hovered at the edge of the counter, obviously unsure of what to do with himself. After a few minutes, he decided on starting another pot of coffee. Yet once that was finished, his anxiety returned. "Can I … do you need something, Clary?" He piped up after another few minutes, startling the mage and the Shadowhunter from their conversation. Taking in her thrall's nerves, Clary beckoned him over, fingers carding through his hair, as he gratefully sank to his knees beside her. "I can't leave you here, can I?"

At that question, Alec blanched, looking as if he was about to be sick. Dejectedly, he lowered his head and whispered, "But you said that I would be forgiven if I made breakfast. Did I not please you?" Looking up, seemingly close to tears, he offered, "I could make something else … anything you want. Just please, tell me what I did wrong? I don't want to disappoint you again, Clary!"

"No, no, Alec, you did nothing wrong!" Pulling a little, she allowed him to wrap his arms around her waist, hiding against her body. Still, she could hear him promising, "I will be good; bring honour to your family. I can do better, I swear!"

"I know," she assured him in a soothing tone, "I do not doubt that you can make me proud." When she looked at Magnus, her heartbreak was mirrored in his eyes. Quietly, she offered, "You can go, you know. I have probably enough information already. I could call you, when …" When Alec was back to his old self. If they ever managed to achieve that.

It was a thought they both had, but Magnus was grateful that Clary did not voice it. Sitting at home, wondering if Alexander was treated right, would do him no favours. Also, there was more research to be done, and the better Clary understood this rune-set, the better she could create and apply the selected few Alec needed. So, the warlock shook his head. "No, we were all there when this unfortunate situation started. We will see it through until the very end."

* * *

At the library, Alec was tasked with finding more texts on rune-variations, as well as putting away the scrolls and tomes they did not need any longer. In the beginning, he had been tense, accepting Jace's, Izzy's and even Magnus' absent-minded 'thank you's'. But after Clary had praised him for a text he had unearthed, he finally started to relax, finally believing that he was performing adequately.

They had been at it for a few hours, when Jace, who had claimed a place beside Clary, shoved the assembled scrolls off the table, with a furious shout. Alec was between him and Clary in a heartbeat, taking the hit, Jace involuntarily dished out in his rage. And though the blond Shadowhunter could feel his parabatai's confusion and a pinprick of pain, Alec just stood there, like a sentient wall, between him and Clary. Something that infuriating Jace even further.

"How could they?" He shouted. "How could they come up with something like that? It's barbaric! These rune-combinations are not 'making use of spoils of war'. Those were just absurd attempts to prove one Institute … one family better than the other. 'Oh, look'," he mocked, "'we can turn your strongest fighters into mindless puppets, cowering at our feet.' That's not sensible. That's sadistic! Nothing but a mad power-trip in the disguise of moral superiority."

"Do you feel better now?" Clary asked from behind Alec, trying to edge around her thrall.

"A little," Jace admitted, sagging against the table. When her dark-haired Shadowhunter finally let her pass, she leaned in next to her boyfriend, putting a soothing hand on his knee. Jace could not even meet her eyes, obviously fighting tears of helpless rage about what his parabatai had to suffer. "Look at him," the blond whispered hoarsely, "My Alec would never have allowed me to land such a stupid slap. This is … a mere shadow of my brother, and it's all our fault! We should have found another way." He sighed defeated.

Closing her eyes to centre herself, Clary instructed, "Alec, please go and find Magnus so he can clean you up."

"Yes, Clary."

As soon as he was gone, she turned back towards her partner, resting her head against his shoulder in an offer of silent support. "It was the only way, and you know it." Reaching out, she hugged him tentatively. "We _will_ find a way to get back as much of Alec as possible. I promise you that I will do everything in my power. But you have to accept, that things have changed and that they won't go back to the way they were before that cursed demon."

"Well," Jace, buried her face in her shoulder for a few moments, before straightening. "At least it will be good to have someone else as invested as me, to save your perky little backside, when you get into trouble the next time."

Slapping his shoulder playfully, Clary replied, "I will have you know, that I am perfectly able to protect my own backside!"

"Yea," Jace brushed a brief kiss over her lips, pulling her away from the table as he mocked, "tell yourself that, Fairchild. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Four hours later Isabelle demanded for them to leave. Harshly! Apparently, she had found the scrolls Simon had unearthed the day before. The ones that detailed precisely how dependent a thrall was on his liege, during the first part of the bonding process.

Since Magnus had provided very a little food throughout the day, the Shadowhunters decided on pizza at the warlock's loft. The discussions they needed to have was not suitable for the Institute. After her explosion, Izzy had started combing their database for more information on Alec's demon but had come up empty. Now they were comparing notes at Magnus dining table. Not long after sundown, Simon had come around with his arms full of Dominos and a backpack full of books from one of Camille's old hideouts. Most of them were useless, but one Magnus claimed with delight, declaring it part of his collection immediately.

Boys and girls were given different rooms to sleep in since nobody had any desire to return to the Institute that night. While Simon was perfectly content to leave the bed to the two Shadowhunters - he had gotten used to sleeping in a Kanu, so Magnus soft carpet was heaven compared to that - Alec shifting around constantly kept him awake. When the young Shadowhunter left the room around 1 a.m. and did not return for twenty minutes, the vampire got up and started looking for him. He sighed when he found his best friend's thrall curled up before Clary and Isabelle's guest-room. His text woke the redhead and bleary-eyed, she opened the door a moment later. Alec was on his feet in an instant, torn between his bad conscience of being caught and his desperate longing of being closer to his liege. Clary yawned, and quick-minded smiled sleepy, "Oh, Alec, good, I was just about to come and get you. Izzy and I are freezing, and she says you're as good as a space-heater. I hope it's okay with you to stay with us, so we can finally get some rest." The naked gratitude in Alec's eyes made her nearly tear up. Nobody should be so thankful to just be allowed in the same room as her. But Clary pushed these thoughts away and whispered instead, "Thanks, Simon."

Chuckling, her best friend replied from the shadows, "I aim to please, Milady."

Back in their room, Jace grumbled, when Simon slipped into the Queen-sized bed. "Alec."

"Sleeps with Clary and Izzy."

"'Kay," the blond yawned, "But no hogging the blankets, Lewis."

"Of course not," the vampire replied. It was not as if he could get cold. Briefly, he wondered if it should be weird that Alec slept with the girls, while he was sharing with Jace. But then he remembered where they were and how Magnus had to feel right now. Maybe it was best to forget about tonight's sleeping arrangements come morning.

* * *

The next day mirrored the one before, though Isabelle decided to return to the Institute after breakfast to do some research in the Grey Book and Simon actually joined them this time. The magic that allowed him to read and understand the ancient texts had proven invaluable before. A little tweak of the wards had their mobiles working. Jace, Clary and Alec claimed a table in one room, while Simon chose another with Magnus, two doors over. That arrangement seemed to calm both male Shadowhunters considerably. For Alec, being allowed close to his liege soothed his underlying anxiety, Jace, because of his parabatai feeling more content. No matter the gruesome details he learned with every new scroll.

Clary was currently reaching for a new book from one of the higher shelves when a whole bunch of scrolls and one tome started to slip. Before Jace could react, Alec was upon her, angling his body so the avalanche of knowledge would hit him instead of her. Yet, afterwards, he still brushed his hands over her smaller form, asking fretfully, "Are you alright? Did you get hit?"

"No," gently freeing herself from his arms, Clary shook the dust out of her hair and face, sneezing three times in quick succession. "What about you?"

"I'm fine," he brushed her concern aside, "Are you sure, you are not hurt?"

"I'm fine, Alec," she parroted his words back at him. "Don't worry. I need to talk to Magnus for a moment. I'll be back."

Nodding, Alec reclaimed his chair, but his heart was not in the research any longer. Instead, he turned every other minute to look at the door Clary had disappeared through.

"Alec," Jace drew his attention, forcing a smile. "She said she was unharmed. Don't worry. Our Clary is a tough girl."

"I, … you are right, of course. I just …" glancing at his parabatai for a heartbeat, he admitted quietly, "I just don't know what I would do if something happened to her. I want to help her restore her … our family name. I just … I don't think I could do it alone."

Reaching out for his brother, a contact that Alec allowed with evident reluctance, the blond assured him, "You won't have to. We'll protect Clary. Come what may. Alright?"

Briefly touching Jace's hand, the thrall nodded. "Thank you."

A few minutes later, Jace exclaimed agitatedly, "You're bleeding!" Yet before the other Shadowhunter could brush him off, Jace shouted out, "Clary!" As the redhead dashed around the corner with Magnus in tow, the blond was just tilting his brother's head. Gingerly, he inspected the head wound that had leaked all over Alec's grey turtleneck.

"It's not deep, thank god," Clary breathed out a sigh of relief, as she pulled her stele, activating her thrall's healing rune. The shallow cut knit itself together before their very eyes. Only when the skin was pristine again, did she step back and started glaring. "You got hurt when you shielded me." She stated coldly.

Alec's muteness betrayed his bad conscience.

"And you already knew that you were hurt when I asked you."

"I, …" the usually so strong and self-composed Shadowhunter stammered in a small voice, but when nobody added anything, he forced himself to continue. "It did not hurt earlier. I was too worried about you to … to let it register. But … but I suspected that I've suffered some sort of injury soon after. My head started feeling dizzy."

Apprehension bloomed on the redhead's face, something her thrall did not see since he had sunken in on himself, kneading his trembling hands nervously. However, when Magnus briefly touched her shoulder, Clary straightened and ordered harshly, "Get out of my sight. Help Simon or Magnus, but I don't want to see you, right now."

"Clear, please," Alec whispered desperately, reaching out for her. But she merely pulled back and challenged in an icy tone, "Did you or did you not lie to me?"

"I did," he admitted brokenly. When she pointed towards the exit, he left without another word.

Clenching his fists, Jace wanted to know, once his brother was out of hearing range, "Was that really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so," Magnus confirmed, putting a comforting hand on Clary's shoulder. "For this to work, Alec can't have any doubts about his liege's authority over him. If he is not absolutely convinced of Clary's superior position, of her making the right decisions at all times, he won't trust her with the runes. And if he doesn't trust the runes, we have no idea what effects they could have on him."

"But does she need to punish him so harshly for such a small infraction? He probably just didn't want to worry her."

Before Magnus could defend her, Clary stepped away from his supportive touch and reached for her beloved's arm. "I gave him one rule, Jace. One rule only. What kind of person would it make me, if I let him ignore that?"

"A weak one," he sighed, pulling her into his arms, kissing her head. "I'm sorry."

Clawing at his shirt, pulling herself closer into the protective circle of his arms, Clary mumbled, "Me too."

About an hour later - Magnus and Jace were currently debating the merits of afternoon tea after pushing a particularly hard to stomach text away, Simon approached Clary. Quietly, he advised, "You should come and get him."

"How bad is it?" Instantly pushing back her chair, she turned towards the exit.

"Physically, he is fine," Simon eased her. "But, mentally …"

"He's miserable," Jace concluded, nodding gratefully at the vampire.

"How do you know?" Magnus' eyes dug into Jace's. But the blond only shrugged, "He's my parabatai. What he feels, I feel. At least if it's strong enough."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Clary inquired.

"He was supposed to be punished. I thought him feeling bad for a while was kind of the goal." With forced nonchalance, Jace added, "And it beats him being in pain any day."

Deflating with an exasperated sigh, Clary forced herself to calm down. "Thanks, Simon." When she left, she heard the vampire suggest, "Maybe we should call it a day. For my part, I have not found anything new in the last five hours. It's all just the same song in dance in different keys."

Clary found Alec cowering in a corner, two rooms over. Simon's thermos on a table proved that he indeed had worked there. Magnus spell had not only given him the ability to read these ancient texts, just like her rune did. For him, they actually made sense beyond the direct translation. Where Clary could read the words, Simon could take in the meaning, making him the fastest researcher they had. Alec undoubtedly _had_ tried to help, since the floor around his corner was littered with tomes. However, though he had one open in his lap, he was not really reading, merely staring at it with glassy eyes.

Clary sank to the floor, and claimed a comfortable position by his side, waiting for him to come back to himself. When he noticed her a few moments later, he instinctively reached out but held himself back at the last second. Pointing at his book, he shared, "It's this rune that makes me so needy … such a burden to you."

Instantly caressing his face, were tears threatened to fall, Clary shook her head, "No, … you could never be a burden to me, Alec!"

"But you don't even like me!" Her thrall exclaimed, closing his fingers around her wrist, torn between shaking off her hand and keeping her close. "I mean … everything feels foggy. You are the only thing that makes sense. But before you gifted me this rune … gave me this chance, we were … not friends. We fought together, but, …" He gasped and tried to pull her hand away, but Clary would not let him. "I killed your mother!"

Crowding him into the corner, practically jumping on his lap, the redhead started to caress his cheeks and kiss his hair, assuring him, "No, Alec, you did not kill my mother! You were possessed by a demon and not responsible for your actions. And this …," she brushed her thumbs over his Bind/Loyalty Rune, "is not on you either. A demon was destroying you from within. This was the only way to keep you save. Izzy, Jace, even Magnus, we decided on this together!"

"Yet, you are the one suffering from it the most."

"No, Alec," she contradicted quietly. "You are."

Shaking his head, looking into her eyes, holding on to her wrists for dear life, he whispered hoarsely, "But that's just it. I don't! As long as you allow me close, I feel … the happiest I have felt in a long time. It's like nothing can touch me. I have nothing to worry about. You are the only thing that matters. I trust you to make the right decisions." When Clary seemed stunned into silence, Alec gently pulled her comforting hands away, concentrating on them as he whispered, "But it's not real … it's an illusion … this happiness. I know it can't last. You have shackled yourself to me, but in the end … all this is nothing but your attempt to cut me loose. And I can't even hold that against you. I know it will kill me, but that's okay. I'm just a screw-up. Not worth keeping."

"Alec," Clary sobbed, wrapping her arms around him. His arms folded around her back in an instant, holding her close with shaking limbs. "I'll be good," he mumbled into her neck with so much heart-breaking honesty. "I will help you navigate our world. Just let me stay a little longer. I promise I will make it worth the effort."

After a few moments, where they both tried to regain their composure, Clary took a calming breath and pulled back a little. Her eyes were serious when she looked into his eyes and asked, "What's your name?"

Confused, he replied, "Alexander, Gideon Lightwood."

"No, it's not."

When she noticed his uncertainty, she brushed once again over the Bind To/Loyalty To Rune at the hollow of his throat. A light seemed to fill him from within when he smiled tentatively and whispered, "Alexander, Gideon Fairchild."

Nodding, Clary promised," You are family now, Alec. And I will _never_ cut you lose."

"Thank you," he breathed out, sagging with relief. He burrowed himself into her smaller form and swore, "I'll make you proud, Clary. I promise."

Caressing his head to ease him, the redhead confirmed, "I know you will, Alec. I never doubted you for a second."

That evening, when they finally returned to the Institute, nobody said a word when Alec slipped into Clary's room after dinner, carrying a blanket and a pillow.

* * *

"I could have done that," Alec stressed, when he found Clary in the kitchen the next morning, scrambling eggs. Her first impulse was to explain that she could feed herself, thank you very much. But fortunately, her sleep addled brain caught up with her new reality. "If you could make me coffee, I would be forever grateful. Oh, and I always seem to burn the bacon." Obviously happy to be of service, Alec prepared two cups and then seared the bacon to perfection. When they sat in the breakfast-nook, Clary decided to take advantage of their solitude. "About yesterday, when the scrolls hit you …"

"I lied to you," her thrall mumbled dejectedly, pushing his half-eaten food away.

Pushing the plate right back, Clary brushed that off. "I'm not talking about that. That's over and done with."

Hesitantly picking up the cutlery, again, Alec obviously needed assurance, "Really?"

Nodding, she confirmed easily, "Of course. However, I was wondering, why you let the scrolls hit you at all."

"So, they would not hit you?"

"There was no chance for you to twist us both out of the way? Like there was no way to dodge Jace's violent reaction yesterday?"

"I don't know," Alec pondered, taking another bite.

"It didn't occur to you."

"No, it didn't."

Giving him a little time, to think this through, Clary asked after a while. "Can you see where I have a problem with that?"

Playing around with his food, the Shadowhunter nodded dejectedly. "You want a fighter."

"You _are_ a fighter, Alec. You are great with a dagger, brilliant with the seraph-blade and unbeatable with a bow."

"But not at the moment."

"No," she shook her head. "Not at the moment."

"What if you, …" he started hesitantly after a few minutes. "What if you drew more runes? I have seen a few that would make me better for you."

"For example?" Clary challenged, while inwardly jumping with joy. If Alec suggested his own runes, there was virtually no chance for him to reject them.

"Ahm … Freedom of Fight?" He proposed quietly.

"That's a possibility," she admitted. "But the Mind-Rune I started with, would not sustain that one." The runes used today were all stand-alone. Mostly because they were already rune-combinations developed for specific tasks. Those at the beginning, however, had been more of a basic alphabet. Ready to spell out any combination of enhancements or spells a Shadowhunter could possibly need. The disadvantage of such a powerful system was that each hunter had to understand the delicate balance of cause, energy and necessary effect to create a stable combination. At least if the rune was supposed to be permanent. Somehow, after the first few combinations, Clary had developed an instinctive understanding of this system and Magnus had confirmed that - from a magical point of view - all combinations she had come up with, would work. To her, it felt like drawing. The knowledge of what was missing, what balanced a piece was just there.

When Alec did not elaborate, she suggested, "Freedom of Body?"

"That would … I could do whatever I want, even without your permission. Especially in combination with the mind-rune, you gave me already. Are you sure you want that?"

"Do you plan on abandoning me?"

"Never!" His head snapped up so fast, just seeing the gesture gave Clary whiplash. Still, she forced herself to smile and reply easily, "Then why would I _not_ want my magnificent Shadowhunter in top form?" She swallowed down her bad conscience since, even if Alec ever _had_ wanted to leave, without the Freedom of Thought, he would never be able to fully contemplate such an action. With the rune of Bind, To/Loyal To Rune, she had entangled his fate with hers on so many levels, that half a dozen runes or more would be needed for him to get even a part of his free will back. And in the end, he would still have been forcefully ripped away from his own family and bound to hers. Maybe, one day, Alec would get enough of himself back to forgive her. And who knew, eventually, he could be happy again.

Well, hopefully not as happy as he was now, as he was positively glowing when taking off his shirt, presenting himself to become better for 'his Clary'.

"Lightwood, keep it wrapped," a yawning Shadowhunter berated as he shuffled into the kitchen.

Embarrassed, her thrall hugged himself, shirt still in hand. Angry, Clary defended him, "Isn't it polite to knock when entering a room?"

"Fairchild," the other chuckled, "this is the communal kitchen. If you want to sample yet another Lightwood, at least have the decency to use your bedroom … or his."

Alec was growling quietly at the man's audacity, but Clary merely put a hand on his arm. "You're right of course. So, whose bedroom should we use, dear, yours or mine?"

"I need to change anyway," Alec replied grumpily, "Let's go."

* * *

The new runes burning into his skin had been agony. But he had suffered it easily, since receiving new runes always hurt. Afterwards, they had changed, shifted on his skin, and for a moment, he had been afraid that he would black out from the pain. But Clary had anchored him. Her hair like a fiery sunset, surrounding her face like a halo. Her beauty had had him mesmerised, as he had watched her from his knees. That someone so close to the angels cared for him had given him strength. Once it was over, she had let out a shaky laugh. "Alright, let's not do that again. Ever!"

Breathing through the residual pain, Alec had agreed wholeheartedly, "Yes, Clary."

A shadow fell over her face at that, yet before he could even try to ease her, she rose and ordered, "Let's put this to the test. Training room. Ten minutes. Wear something appropriate."

"Yes, …" cutting himself off, Alec merely nodded, looking after her when she left. He felt a little more self-assured, undoubtedly thanks to Clary's decision to gift him with yet more runes. He would prove himself to her! Determined he pulled out his training gear.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry," Clary repeated hoarsely, unable to keep her composure when faced with all this blood. "It was supposed to work, I …" And that, right there, her misery and desperation hurt Alec so much more, than the shallow cut to his chest, that was already knitting together thanks to his activated healing rune.


	4. Freedom of Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Third wheel, hm? I know the feeling." The pretty girl who had played with Simon claimed a stool beside him. He thought her name was Maureen but could not be certain. So, he opted for a non-committal smile and asked, "Excuse me?"  
> "Simon and Clary," she gestured. "They have the tendency to make everyone feel like the third wheel. And they're not even in a romantic relationship."  
> "Clary and I are not …" Alec stuttered. "I'm not … we're not like that."  
> Chuckling, the pretty girl patted his hand. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Then she picked up her coke and inserted herself between her laughing friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I inserted a new Chapter 1 because the amazing meligaseu allowed me to use one of her pictures to include as a title picture. This has inspired me through my entire writing process and I am so grateful that she gave me the chance to share it with you. Please also check out her link on Deviantart.

"I'm sorry," Clary repeated hoarsely, her hands fluttering over Alec's bleeding chest. "It was supposed to work, I …" And that, right there, her misery and desperation hurt Alec so much more, than the shallow cut on his chest, that was already knitting together thanks to his healing rune.

"Please, don't worry," he asked gently. "I'm sure you will get it right eventually. We just need a little more time." Brushing away the lingering blood, revealing unmarked skin, he tried to smile encouragingly, "See, I'm as good as new."

The next moment, Simon came around the corner with Jace in tow. Studying his mobile, the vampire shared, "Becca needs to see me, she …," then, out of the blue, his head snapped up, and his nostrils flared. He growled sub-vocally before pulling himself together. "Why is Alec bleeding?"

Surprised, Jace looked at the vampire, "You can tell who is bleeding, by scent?"

"Well, duh, …" Simon rolled his eyes. "You guys get hurt often enough for me to have learned the difference."

"Nifty trick," the blond commented but returned to the question at hand. "But why _was_ Alec bleeding?"

"Because I hurt him," Clary admitted dejectedly.

"On accident!" Her thrall defended immediately, determined not to let any blame fall on her. "She gave me a new pair of runes, so I could fight for her again. But I can't get them to work. When she attacked me, I just took the hit."

"Hm," Jace pondered, inspecting the new runes. "Maybe she drew them wrong?"

Instantly, Alec bristled, "Clary doesn't draw runes wrong! She's a natural with …" The next second he whipped around and caught Simon mid-jump, slamming him to the floor, as the vampire lunged at him.

"Simon!" The redhead shouted, and though Jace drew his blade, he appeared confused by the unexpected attack.

Simon, however, tapped out and looked pleased, when Alec slowly eased his strangling grip. "It's not the rune. It's Clary." When the others helped him to his feet, he elaborated, "Obviously, the rune works. I think Alec just feels like he deserves whatever Clary dishes out for him. So, he won't defend himself against _her_ attacks."

Grinning, Jace added a dagger to his blade and challenged his parabatai, "Sound theory. Let's put it to the test!" And when he attacked first an unsuspecting Clary and then Alec himself. The dark-haired Shadowhunter stood against him with ease.

Watching the boys train, Clary approached her best friend. "That was quite a dangerous thing to do. Attacking a Shadowhunter … in the middle of the Institute …"

Rolling his eyes, the vampire grinned. "What should they do? Kill me? Been there. Done that. Didn't stick."

"Simon," she berated half-heartedly, leaning her head against his shoulders as they both watched the training. "Thank you."

Kissing the crown of her hair, he replied smoothly, "You're welcome."

When Isabelle entered, she threw a staff at Clary, "Come on, Fairchild, you're up."

Twirling the weapon in her hands, the redhead stepped away from Simon. Making himself at home on top of one of the arms-cabinets, Simon studied the Shadowhunters. Alec was defending himself with his agility and skill against both Jace's and Izzy's attacks. But his fighting style was missing something. Simon just could not put his finger on it.

The next week had them all wrapped up in their own little worlds. Alec, gave Clary a more comprehensive course on all things Shadowhunter, especially the views and policies of Idris. Isabelle and Jace tried to cover for him as best as they could. It did help that Alec was nearly back to himself during her evenings, Clary spent drawing or discussing unique rune-combinations with either Alec or Magnus. Though the warlock was around less and less these days.

Two weeks after the disastrous night, Simon was pleading with his best puppy-dog eyes. "It's just one evening. I rarely play these days, and this is huge, even Maureen agreed to accompany me. We have not spent time together for ages. Please, it's barely a twenty-minute drive. You could be back at midnight, Cinderella."

"I can't, Simon, please. This thing with Alec …"

"Can wait for just five hours. One evening, Fray, come on. It will be just like old times."

"But he would feel uncomfortable with me going. You know how he is."

"Oh, I know," Simon growled, getting frustrated. He rarely asked Clary for anything these days, aware that defending the mundanes from demons was more important than virtually anything. But this gig … he so wanted to do it with Clary there, and he freely admitted to himself, that her constant resistance made him frustrated … maybe even a little mean. "Go. Come. Fetch. Like a little puppy, yapping for your attention. You never have time for anything but Alec Lightwood. Don't you miss this? Us? An evening out with friends?"

"Of course, I do," she looked at her best friend pleading. It was an entirely reasonable request on Simon's part, and she felt horrible for denying him. He always took the back-seat to every shit that was going on in her life. "But Alec …"

"Thinks you should go." Came the quiet addition from the doorway. Ever since their first night back at the Institute, her thrall had slipped into her room after dinner, curled up in an armchair, out of the way, while Clary was studying, or drawing. Later conventiently claiming the small sofa to sleep on.

Simon could see the misery radiating off the Shadowhunter and hated himself for causing it. Alec was the victim in all this. He should not have lost his temper. Now he felt like an ass. Especially when the taller man forced an encouraging smile. "Honestly. I'll survive. Just go and have fun." Before Clary could comment, the vampire turned around. "Of course, you would survive. You're a tough boy. But be honest, every second she's away from you would tear you apart. Am I right? You would pace your room, waiting for her return, imagining all the things that could happen, without you there to protect her."

Pulling back, making himself smaller due to the verbal attack, Alec did not look up from the floor when he breathed out, "I'm sorry."

Placing a hand on his best friend's chest to hold her back, Simon approached her thrall and nudged him. "It's okay, Alec. I have been in love with Clary longer than you have even known Jace." It was an unspoken agreement between the five, never to mention Jace in such a context. But instead of getting angry or defensive, Alec nodded sadly, kneading his hands while he recalled, "He was so beautiful when I first met him; radiant like an angel! But it is nothing compared to what I feel about Clary now. I know it's not real, I know that, but … I can't help it. I'm sorry, I'm such a burden, Simon."

"Don't be," the vampire assured him, gently touching his arm. "I am the last person who had any right to criticise you for falling for my best friend. She's pretty great."

"Guys," the redhead smiled exasperatedly. "Could you please stop?"

"Yes, Clary."

"Of course," they started to talk simultaneously, but after a moment, Simon continued," You know what? You are right. We _should_ stop fighting about this and simply take Alec with us."

"What?"

"Don't you see?" The vampire grinned eagerly, "You are more worried about him than your rune-studies anyway, and if we take him with us, we can have a perfectly lovely evening - something Alec is long overdue for - _and_ you'll have a tall, dark and handsome bodyguard when I'm on stage. Win-Win scenario."

At the looks of eager and hesitant anticipation in the men's eyes, Clary could only chuckle and nod, "Fine, one evening with shitty food and brilliant music. 'LeLoup' we're coming!"

* * *

"These fries are horrible," Clary complained, weaving a soggy, squishy potato-stick through the air.

"The burgers are excellent," Alec grinned, taking his second bite.

They were slightly too late, but only because Clary and Simon had nearly toppled over from laughter when seeing Alec in his 'clubbing' outfit. "This is an Indie-Gig, Alec, not Pandemonium. Tone it down!"

Simon had noticed the near-panic in the thrall's face, at Clary's flippant comment. So, he had stirred the Shadowhunter back towards his room, leaving his friend to her own preparations. Rummaging through the available options, the vampire had instructed, "Lose the pants but keep the shirt. Black's a good colour on you."

Unlacing his boots, Alec had mumbled, "You don't have to do that."

"I know," Simon had shrugged, throwing stone-washed blue-jeans over his shoulder. Do you have a jacket that's like … not kevlar or leather?"

"I had an old baseball-jacket once, but I don't know if Izzy hasn't fleeced it. Apparently, it was perfect for her 'lazy-days'."

"Found it!"

Content, Simon had taken in the picture Alec had presented. He had been much more comfortable in jeans and the worn jacket, only now realising how provocative his former outfit had been. Reaching for a tissue, he had been prepared to rub off his eye-make-up - something he had learned from Magnus - but Simon had stopped him. "No, you look good. Let's just tone it down a little. Do you trust me?"

For a second, Alec had hesitated. In the end, however, he had nodded. He had not expected for Simon to push him down on the bed, stepping between his legs. With unexpected gentleness, the vampire had tilted up his chin and dabbed away the majority of his make-up. Only faint traces had remained. Yet Alec had not been able to keep himself from blushing, when Clary had commented from the door, "Looks good, boys. Are we ready?" At that moment, seeing Clary's and Simon's smile, feeling someone close for no other reason than it being helpful without thinking about a political agenda or any sort of gain, Alec had wished to be able to stop time. Just for a minute. He had always been closest to his siblings, but this … this easy comradery had been new for him, and he had wanted to cherish it as long as it lasted.

An echo of that feeling still lingered, as Clary reached out and claimed his burger. After taking a tentative bite, she groaned blissfully before advising mischievously, "The burgers here are excellent. You should get one for yourself."

Accepting that his dinner would not be returned to him, but not being overly hungry anyway, Alec reached for one of her fries. "Are you going to eat these?" He could not help but chuckle at her disgusted look. Trying one, he spat it into the napkin, she had helpfully held out for him, teasing good-naturedly, "Told you." Well, maybe another burger would not go amiss. He had to get this awful taste out of his mouth somehow.

He had just returned to the table with another burger and a side of onion-rings when his redhead started bouncing on her toes. "They're on!"

For a moment, Alec could not take his eyes off of her. She looked so young and carefree. Like her best friend performing live on stage was the most important thing in her life. The Shadowhunter wondered if Clary's mundane upbringing had not really been the blessing Jocelyn had intended it to be. For the majority of her life, Clary had been allowed to worry about nothing but boys and grades and getting into art-school. She had not been forced to train and study runes; learn about angels and demons until she had all details down to perfection; because nothing but perfection was ever good enough. So, when she beamed at him, wide-eyed and excited, he could not help but mirror the gesture. Grateful that she allowed him to be a part of this.

After the first set, when Simon and his friend had returned to the table, Alec retreated to the bar, to give his two companions time with their mundie friend.

"Third wheel, hm? I know the feeling." The pretty girl who had played with Simon claimed a stool beside him. He thought her name was Maureen but could not be certain. So, he opted for a non-committal smile and asked, "Excuse me?"

"Simon and Clary," she gestured. "They have the tendency to make everyone feel like the third wheel. And they're not even in a romantic relationship."

"Clary and I are not …" Alec stuttered. "I'm not … we're not like that."

Chuckling, the pretty girl patted his hand. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Then she picked up her coke and inserted herself between her laughing friends.

During the second part of the show, Alec kept his distance. Before, Clary had bumped into him when doing her little dancing-while-sitting routine. She had touched him absent-minded, offering trivia about one song or the other. Alec had not thought anything of it; had enjoyed her natural affections. But apparently, he had given off an entirely inappropriate vibe, if even a mundane drew some conclusions. Wrong conclusions, of course, but … his parabatai was in love with that girl, and it would not be sensible if Alec … it just wasn't appropriate. Hence, when Clary talked to him, he dutifully leaned over but was careful not to touch. It was hard, harder than anticipated, but bearable. The last thing he wanted was to cause problems for her. Reflecting on what the mundi had said, he tried to discover if he was romantically interested in Clary Fairchild. He came up empty. Sure, the idea of not seeing her every day, of not being part of her life made him nauseous. But beyond that? He had been engaged once. However, imagining her naked, fantasising about kissing her? He shook himself. No. Definitely not! Still, the fact that someone might misinterpret his interest in Clary did not sit well with him. Especially if that someone could be Jace.

He and Simon were currently packing the van when a growl made them turn around.

"You know," the vampire sighed, "in hinder sight 'LeLoupe' was kind of obvious." Nudging open the backdoor, he called out, "Clary, could you ask Maureen to look for my lucky plekton on stage? It seems I have lost it." When Alec looked at him confused, Simon shrugged, "that should keep the girls occupied."

"We don't know you, Shadowhunter," one of the bar's patrons said, as the three guys started to circle them. Another added, "And we are not like Lucian Grayback's pack, heeling at your feet!"

Slowly crouching down so he could reach the dagger in his boot, Alec tried to placate them, "Look, we don't want any trouble. We just came for his gig, and we were about to leave."

"You shouldn't have come at all!" A third one growled, baring his teeth before shifting. The second wolf started to whine. But not because of the imminent attack, but because someone had hit him over the head. Regrettably, that attracted the remainders of the pack. Chaos ensued as more wolves joined the fight. After the first few moments, the back of the van was thrown open, and Alec's bow sailed through the air. Throwing his dagger to Simon, the Shadowhunter relaxed considerably, as his hands closed around his weapon of choice. Within minutes, the fight was over, and Clary cancelled her invisibility rune. Gazing at the remaining conscious pack-members, the redhead suggested, "We will pack up now and go, never to return. Is that acceptable?" All three had been mindful of not injuring the wolves beyond their healing capacity. So maybe there actually was a chance to resolve this peacefully … more or less.

Fortunately, these wolves seemed to accept that they had been beaten. Kind of pathetically actually. Half a dozen shifters against two Shadowhunters and one daylighter. Luke's pack would have torn them to pieces. "Fine," the apparent Alpha hissed, holding the gash, Simon had given him. "But take your vampire with you!"

Trading a glance, Clary and Alec shrugged, "Fine by us."

When the wolves trotted away, tails between their legs, Clary immediately turned towards her friends, "Are the two of you okay?"

"I'm good," Simon revealed, studying a healing scratch at his side. "But this shirt is ruined. Honestly, shadow-hunting is a nightmare on my wardrobe. I begin to understand why you guys invest in such a monochrome colour wardrobe scheme. You buy your shirts by the dozen because it's cheaper."

"My wardrobe isn't monochrome," Alec protested weakly. Simon however, only rolled his eyes, "Name one item of clothing that's not black, white or a variation thereof."

After a heartbeat, the Shadowhunter grinned, "These jeans."

"Jeans so don't count!"

Chuckling, Clary stored away her blade. "You said 'one item'. He totally got you there, Simon."

Smiling, Alec collected his arrows and put them back into his quiver. "I can't believe you brought my bow." Opening the blanket that had hidden the weapon before, storing it under the second-row seats, the female Shadowhunter shrugged. "I wanted us to have a nice evening. That does not mean that I am suicidal. By the way, you brought a weapon as well."

After polishing the blade, Alec put it back in its sheath, shrugging, "I'm a Shadowhunter."

Tilting her head, Clary replied, "So am I."

Taking in Clary's open smile and relaxed posture, a fight with werewolves did not seem to impede her mood in the slightest, Alec mirrored her smile, "Yes. You certainly are."

Funny enough, Maureen actually found a plekton backstage, and Simon instantly claimed it, before ushering them all into the van, and they left yet another werewolf lair behind them.

* * *

After bringing the mundie home, Alec admitted. "Clary, I think I got hurt."

The vampire jumped into the breaks so hard, that Alec nearly slammed into his backrest, but forgot any complaints when his Clary ordered anxiously, "Where? Show me!" Trying to wrestle him out of his shirt, she nearly slipped out of the bench seat. She only calmed, when Simon turned on the interior light, illuminating four shallow scratches at Alec's back. "Okay," the redhead breathed a little easier. "These are just surface wounds. Your rune will take care of them." Activating his healing-rune, she watched the skin knit together before releasing his shirt, relaxing back into her seat.

"I didn't," the dark-haired Shadowhunter began somewhat hesitant after Simon had started the drive again, "I had no intentions of keeping this from you. I just didn't notice before."

"No wonder," Clary brushed off his apology. "You are used to much worse. With the adrenalin of the fight, I am not surprised that it took you a while to take stock."

"You are not angry?"

Sighing, she turned towards her thrall, gently caressing his cheek. "Alec, I am not even angry when you get injured during a fight. That's unavoidable on occasion, and it's not as if you're running head-first into danger like other Shadowhunters we know and love. I just want you to give me the chance to take care of you. We are Nephilim … warriors, or so you have taught me. And fighters are strongest when unharmed. That's sensible, don't you think?"

"Yes," Alec offered a small smile. "It's similar to how I feel about Izzy."

"Yes," she mirrored his smile. "I imagine it is."

When they stopped a few minutes later, the Shadowhunter looked around. "We are not at the Institute."

"We aren't," Simon confirmed, opening the side door. "But I think after the night we have had, we deserve a treat."

Allowing her vampire to help her out of the van, Clary squeaked delighted, "Ray's Candy Store!"

"That does not inspire confidence."

But Simon chuckled, "Come on, big guy. You are in for a treat."

Then minutes later found the trio on the swing-set in the Tompkins Square Park's playground, Alec valiantly defending his fried banana with vanilla-ice-cream against Clary's sneak attacks, while deftly stealing pieces of fried oreos from her plate, though he found them too sweet. It was tradition, Simon had explained in a serious tone, to try and snatch bites of each other's desserts. And since the vampire could not eat, it was Alec's duty to take his role. Both he and Clary had sugar and ice-cream all over their clothes, but the Shadowhunter had to admit, that this had been the most fun he had had in a very long time. Still, the mundane's … Maureen's words still bothered him. So, when Clary went to throw away their garbage, and wash her hands, he decided to broach the topic with the only person who might have an objective view. "Simon, it's obvious that I am not interested in Clary romantically, isn't it?"

Nearly falling off his swing, the vampire whipped around, "Excuse me? Did you just tell me that you won't enter an epic battle with your own parabatai to win our fair maiden's heart?" When Alec simply glared at him, Simon held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, fine, I get it. And while I am not entirely sure why you are asking me or telling me this, it would not matter either way, even if you were."

"How so?" How could it not matter if he betrayed his own brother, or hurt him, by making him believe he desired his girlfriend.

Looking at his best friend, who tried desperately to brush confectioner's sugar off her shirt, Simon pondered how to phrase this. "I have loved Clary since she hit Tom Malek in kindergarten for stealing one of my crayons, making me cry. And despite everything that has happened with Jace and me and Maya, nothing will ever change that. I may be a daylighter, thanks to … you know, but in the end, I'm still a Downworlder. Some Shadowhunters would even consider me the 'enemy'." Before Alec could protest, Simon raised his hand. "The point is, for Clary none of that matters. She is this amazing person, Alec, that sees people for who they are, before anything else. I know that being raised a Shadowhunter you all come with a shit-ton of preconceived notions about our world. But Clary is different. She loves and hates and believes with all her heart, and in the end, she will go for what she wants … or who she wants. No matter what you or me or the Clave or the Downworlders or any Angel in heaven may say. If you worry about making Jace jealous with the way you look at her, don't, because if your brother really knows her, he will know that she would never be unfaithful. She chose him, over everybody else on this entire planet. That should be enough for him. And if he doesn't … that's on him, not on you."

"So … even when you were together, you were never jealous?"

Chuckling, Simon shook his head, "I was jealous like hell. And before we decided that we were better off as friends, I wanted to strangle Jace every time I saw him, but …"

"But what?" Alec prompted after a moment.

"I guess … after a while I realised that she's not less my best friend just because she's in love with someone else. In the end, she's still the person who broke someone's nose over a crayon. And I want that person to be happy. Everything else comes second." Looking at the Shadowhunter, the vampire shrugged. "I know you love her. I can see it in your eyes. But it is the same look I have."

"How do you know?"

"Maureen told me."

"Your little mundi should keep her nose out of other people's business!" Alec snarled, Simon however, touched his shoulder calmingly, "But it is."

"What?"

"It is her business because she is one of mine and Clary's oldest friends. She is worried for us because Clary has not told her that she's fallen in love with another angel and - let's be honest - the two of us don't even play in the same league."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if Clary were into tall, dark and dangerous, I would not even have a sliver of a chance against you. And Maureen still thinks I'm romantically interested in my best friend. So, she tried to protect that interest."

While that was undoubtedly a compliment, it made Alec uncomfortable to have been read so wrong. Therefore, he hastened to assure, "But she isn't."

"Of course, she is," Simon explained. "She just wants you as a friend and not as a lover."

For a few moments, the thrall did not know what to say. After a minute, he offered quietly, "Thank you."

Smiling, the vampire replied, "You're welcome." How on earth had his life turned into this? Playing Sigmund Freud to an enthralled Shadowhunter, assuring him that his best friend was in love with said hunter's adoptive brother. That was so much more than he had ever wanted to interfere in Clary's relationships, now that they did not concern him any longer.

A few moments later, Clary came over. "Can we go? It's nearly two, and Jace wants me in for training around ten."

"Training, I understand," Simon wiggled his eyebrows, only to take the slap his best friend dished out in retaliation. "Are you finished?"

Rolling her eyes, she shared, "I was finished ages ago. I just did not want to interrupt your little heart-to-heart."

Jumping from the swing, the vampire offered an elaborate bow and his elbow, "In that case, let us leave, oh fair Lady Fairchild."

Offering a courtesy, Clary put her hand into the crook of his arm and grinned, "Much appreciated, Lord Lewis."

Shaking his head, Alec passed them by with a mumbled, "You two are so weird."

The carefree atmosphere lasted about halfway through the drive to the Institute. Then Simon received a text. "I'll get the two of you home, but then I have to leave for the Hotel Dumort."

"You haven't eaten all evening."

"Doesn't matter," he brushed away her concerns. "It's not 911, so I can eat at the hotel."

Keeping more practical concerns in mind, Alec offered, because he had no doubt that Clary would in a heartbeat, "Do you want us to come with you?"

"No!" Simon brushed off his offer. "It's probably just something to do with this daylighter -business."

So, with little concern, Clary kissed her best friend's cheek and watched him drive off. On their way through the silent Institute, Alec stated, "Thank you, for … you know … taking me with you. I had fun tonight."

 "Because of the werewolves?" She laughed.

"No," her thrall shook his head. "Because … I don't know … because of the shitty fries and the brilliant burgers and the music and the atmosphere. We … Jace, Izzy and I … we don't something like that any longer. But I liked it."

"Well," Clary shrugged easily, "Simon doesn't have too many gigs these days. But when he plays the next time, we can take the others with us and have fun together."

And after he had stretched out on the chaise, Alec decided that he would not mind another evening with Indie music and too sweet deserts after midnight.

* * *

The next day, Simon interrupted their training session. Pale and panting - though nobody understood why the vampire still insisted on breathing - he forced out, "We have a problem. Several of Camille's children have bounded together and threatened the others at the Hotel Dumort!"

Ten minutes later, they all stood around a holographic model of the area. Izzy and Jace were talking animatedly, discussing escape- and attack-routes. Clary suggested the roof as an exit, like last time, when Jace wanted to know, "Alec, what do you think?"

"Clary's plan has merit …," he started, but then shook his head. "I need to step out for a minute."

"Are you okay?" A concerned Izzy, put a hand on her brother's shoulder, studying him. But Alec offered a weak smile. "I just need a moment. Don't worry." Kissing her head, he left the room. When his parabatai tried to follow, Clary put a hand on his arm. "Let me," she requested quietly.

The redhead found Alec on the roof, studying the mundane world from above.

"My plan is stupid."

"Yes … No!" Her thrall kneaded his hands nervously. "This is important! Simon is important and by extent his clan. But I can't … I can't think straight! I know you are right. You are _always_ right because you only have the best of intentions, but …"

"Alright, that's it!" Clary decided, drawing her stele. "Lose the shirt."

"What do you want to do?"

"Taking a leap of faith," she admitted. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course!" An automatic response.

"No, Alec, I mean it. Don't look at me. Try to think this through. Does me drawing a new rune on you feel wrong to you on _any_ level?"

Reaching for her hand, kissing it reverently, the Nephilim shook his head. "The runes you create for us, are a gift from the angel. When it comes to them, I will never doubt you."

Taking a deep breath, Clary clasped his hand. "Good to know, because this will hurt like hell!"

And it did. By the angel, no other rune Alec had ever received had caused such agony. He broke to his knees, screaming his lungs out, but Clary's fingers around the back of his neck anchored him. He registered distantly that the door to the roof was thrown open. That, someone, was shouting his name. After a few moments, of breathing through the lingering fire, Alec squeezed Clary's hand gratefully and rose to his feet. Taking a deep breath, he looked at his liege and offered a small smile. "Your plan is horrible. We would be sitting ducks on our way to the roof."

That silenced a ranting Jace who had - once again - started to shout at his girlfriend on his parabatai's behalf. And while the blond merely gaped, Clary beamed like the sun. "That's great! I mean it isn't … that my plan sucks but you …" Delighted she threw her arms around him and hugged him close.

With a smile, Alec mirrored the gesture, soaking in her approval and delight, before pulling back, putting his shirt back on. "I feel like a fog has been lifted and I can finally think again. Thank you, Clary. But now we need to go and get the defences of the Hotel up. Better to be proactive, given that it's still early." Then he vanished into the Institute.

When Clary tried to follow, Jace held her back. His bad conscience was palpable. Still, he demanded to know, "What did you do to him? Even dampened by the bond, it felt like torture."

"I drew a new rune that was supposed to change both his thoughts _and_ his emotions. There is nothing more invasive than that, and I had to weld it into the existing design for it to work."

"What rune?"

With a soft smile, Clary thought of the endless hours he had invested into making up this rune-combination. Of countless the failed attempts, because what she wanted simply had never been done before. Of the days she had spent at Magnus loft, pouring over books, discussing with the warlock until she had an idea of how to change Alec … change him from the man he was now, back to the one he had been, even just a little. It had needed a particularly strong Shadowhunter to survive the drawing process, but she had had every faith in Alec. Now he was nearly there … nearly back to his old self, because of, "Freedom of Thought."

"There is no such rune. We have been over the texts twice. The Shadowhunters of old wanted their thralls submissive and obedient," the blond contradicted.

But Clary merely shrugged, "There is now."

Sighing, Jace drooped, before stating quietly, "I hope this does not blow up in our faces."

"I have thought it through," Clary assured, following her not so enthralled bondsmen. "With the books and scrolls and Magnus. Given that I wait a few days between each new rune-set and properly include them in the original design, we are perfectly safe."

"How many more have you planned for him."

"Two."

"And you are sure that they will work."

Turning around, meeting Jace's eyes, Clary swore, "The moment I draw them, I do not have the shadow of a doubt."

* * *

"Clary," Alec drew her attention pulling down the neck of his shirt, as they wandered through the eerily silent Hotel Dumort. Dutifully, she pulled her stele and activated the rune he pointed at. They would have to address this problem, since a Shadowhunter, who could not activate his own runes was little better than a mundane in a fight against Downworlders and demons. On the other hand, him being so intrinsically bound to her, meant that she could draw her sunlight rune on him as well, making them twice as useful in a fight against vampires. Regrettably, their opponents knew these surroundings by heart. So, one of Camille's children managed to sneak up on them from behind, clawing open Clary's back. Jace caught her before she could collapse to the floor, while Simon, sweet, goofy Simon, viciously tore the other vampire apart. Alec stood guard over his liege and parabatai, releasing arrow after arrow with a speed and efficiency that ought to have been all but impossible without his speed rune.

When Simon tore a hole into a nearby window, letting the sinking sun peak through, the fight was over within seconds. Apparently, the view of a daylighter convinced their attackers that Camille was not worth the risk. Simon was by Clary and Jace's side in an instant, guarding the blond when he picked up his injured girlfriend. The Shadowhunter looked devastated by Clary's pained whimpers. However, after a moment, he pulled himself together and stated in a rough voice, "Clary needs to go to the infirmary. I drew an Iratze and it stopped the bleeding, but a few of those cuts go all the way to the bone. Izzy, Alec, why don't you make a sweep, while Simon and I go back to the Institute."

"No," Alec interrupted hoarsely. When Jace looked up, he saw his parabatai staring at Clary, his face ashen, his breath shallow. "I won't leave her, … I … I can't, Jace."

Simon looked to the brothers and decided, "You two get her to the Institute and Izzy, and I clean up here." Apologetic, he glanced at the female Shadowhunter whose time he had claimed so easily, but Isabelle only shook her head, brushing away his obvious concerns, "Simon's right. Get Clary home, and we will deal with the vampires."

The naked gratitude in the boy's' eyes was slightly unnerving, but Simon and Isabelle only nodded, before turning back to the hotel.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Of course," kissing his best friend's forehead, making sure her pillow was fluffed up, the vampire stood and looked at Jace and Alec sternly. "The only person responsible for Clary getting hurt is Clary!" At the outrageous look he received, he bared his fangs, silencing them with a hiss. The pair was startled enough to stay quiet, and only Izzy noticed how Clary patted Simon's arm approvingly. "She is not a child! She is a Shadowhunter. A Shadowhunter, the three of you, have trained! You trusted that training and her abilities enough when the three of you fought Valentine and his army of forsaken. But now, after she has slain her father, she gets scratched up on a job and you go all 'Oh, poor Clary.' and 'Little Clary has to be protected!' Newsflash, gentlemen, Clary messed up! She was not attentive enough and paid the price." After that stern dressing down, he turned towards his best friend. "Though if I had not tried to secure an empty corridor, …"  
> "Simon!" She slapped him weakly, promoting him to chuckle and kiss her hand. "Yea, I get it. You're a big girl and don't need any knights in shining armour."  
> "Exactly," she yawned, before closing her eyes, falling asleep again.


	5. Freedom of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he came back to himself, Alec noticed three things. First, he sat huddled between Clary's legs, her small hands caressing his back soothingly. His family had never been particularly tactile, but he liked her comforting gestures. So, he decided to bask in it for just a few moments. Second, his throat hurt like hell. No wonder, he remembered screaming himself hoarse. Of course, Clary noticed his flinching. The hand on his back vanished, producing a cup of tea. Gratefully, he took a sip and could not suppress a groan when the honeyed liquid calmed his burning throat. Third, Simon and Magnus seemed engaged in an epic shouting-match, while Jace still stood at the side, face impassive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you risk everything good in your life for 'chance'? For the chance to be with the one you love? Or is that too high of a price to pay?

When the pair entered the infirmary two hours later, they found Clary sleeping face down. After a short glance, the female Shadowhunter touched Simon's shoulder, promising quietly, "I'll talk to the doctors." Pressing his lips together, he took in the still form of his best friend and merely nodded. Kneeling down, next to the bed, he brushed a strand of Clary's fiery red hair out of her face, careful not to bother her. And while Jace glared at him for seemingly disturbing her rest, Simon could not care less about the Shadowhunter's claim on his best friend. She still smelled a little of blood, but mostly of disinfectant and medicine. Wrapping his arms around himself, Simon just watched, hunkering down on the floor, until Izzy returned.

The raven-haired beauty claimed the armrest of the chair, where Alec sat; unmoving in his silent sentinel-duty. She assured all of them. "The doctor says she'll make a full recovery."

All three men deflated from sheer relief. When nobody replied, Isabelle nudged her brother. "You and Jace should go and take a shower and maybe eat something."

Alec shook his head, while Jace mumbled, "Not hungry," not taking his eyes off his girlfriend as if he was afraid that she would vanish if he dared to look away. Aware that she would not be able to make any headway here, Izzy kissed the top of Alec's head and promised, "I'll take care of the reports. But you two should take a shower at least." Jace sneered, "And Clary should not lie in that bed. Seems like none of us will get what we want."

At the bitterness in the blond's voice, Simon sat up, looking at him, "You are not responsible for her getting hurt, Jace."

"No, I am," Alec agreed, though that was undoubtedly _not_ what Simon had implied. Though when the vampire tried to protest, the thrall gestured at the rune that sat prominently at his throat. "Clary has gone any length to help me overcome the limitations of this! But it binds me to her … to her family. I should have paid closer attention; protected her better."

Jace however, snapped viciously, "You can't even activate your own runes, Alec," and though his brother flinched, he pressed on, "I stood right beside her. All of the necessary runes were active, yet I still did not manage to have her back."

"Boys," Izzy interrupted their self-flagellation, "This is stupid!"

"It is," a weak voice came from the bed, and Simon instantly turned back towards it so he could look into his best friend's dull eyes. "Hey," he whispered. "How do you feel?"

"Like someone used me as a scratch-post," she joked weakly but immediately realised that neither Alec nor Jace found that funny. Hence, she tried a different approach. "Neither of you is responsible for me getting hurt!" She insisted, yet before either Shadowhunter could protest, a coughing fit had her curl up on the bed. When Izzy offered a glass of water, Simon helped her drink, smiling when Clary prompted weakly, "Could you?"

"Of course," kissing his best friend's forehead, making sure her pillow was fluffed up, the vampire stood and looked at Jace and Alec sternly. "The only person responsible for Clary getting hurt is Clary!" At the outrageous look he received, he bared his fangs, silencing them with a hiss. The pair was startled enough to stay quiet, and only Izzy noticed how Clary patted Simon's arm approvingly. "She is not a child! She is a Shadowhunter. A Shadowhunter, the three of you, have trained! You trusted that training and her abilities enough when the three of you fought Valentine and his army of forsaken. But now, _after_ she has slain her father, she gets scratched up on a job and you go all 'Oh, poor Clary.' and 'Little Clary has to be protected!' Newsflash, gentlemen, Clary messed up! She was not attentive enough and paid the price." After that stern dressing down, he turned towards his best friend. "Though if I had not tried to secure an empty corridor, …"

"Simon!" She slapped him weakly, promoting him to chuckle and kiss her hand. "Yea, I get it. You're a big girl and don't need any knights in shining armour."

"Exactly," she yawned, before closing her eyes, falling asleep again.

Since her fellow Shadowhunters did not seem inclined to comment on the passionate speech Simon had just given in Clary's stead, Isabelle decided to ask, "Do you believe a single word of what you have just said?"

Alec and Jace seemed dumbfounded when the vampire lovingly caressed the redhead and chuckled, "Of course not. But it does not matter what I or Alec or Jace or even you think, Izzy. All that matters is that Clary believes it."

"But what if we lose her?" Alec asked broken, still unwilling to give up her hand. "I can't lose her, Simon. I'd rather die than watch her go."

"That's the rune, Alec," his sister tried to comfort him. "Would anything happen to Clary the compulsion would lose its hold over you."

Only Simon could hear the humourless snicker from Jace, and he did not need any kind of special power to know that the blond shared his parabatai's mind. Only, there was no rune binding Jace. He loved Clary so much that sometimes it hurt Simon to look at him. But in the end, there was nothing he could do. There might even come a day where he lost her, the chasm between Shadowhunters and Downworlders spanning to wide for him and Clary to gap it. But, it was good to know that someone stood by his best friend's side, whenever she went into combat. Someone, who would put his everything into protecting her. Even his life.

So, he leaned against the legs of Jace's chair and watched his sleeping friend. "She loves you, you know that." He mumbled quietly, not looking up.

"Well," Jace breathed out harshly, "It doesn't really matter if I'm not worth it."

"Jace," Simon sighed, remembering the day of the battle, where he had nearly killed the blond, only later learning that it had been a risk Jace had readily taken to save his beloved's partner at the time. They had never talked about his admittance of being suicidal. Him reaching for the Soul Sword had been proof enough in Simon's mind, but apparently, heart-to-hearts were unheard off in the Shadowhunter community. Still, he kept his voice low when he assured, "You are worth it. Clary loves you. She chose you, and there is no changing her mind now."

"Maybe she should," Jace whispered quietly.

Sneering, Simon looked over his shoulder. "Good luck convincing her. Have you even met her? Clary is like the most stubborn person on this planet."

Deflating into his chair, not taking his eyes off his girlfriend, Jace mumbled after a few moments, "A sandwich would be okay."

Relieved that the blond showed even the tiniest bit of reason, Simon jumped to his feet. "Why don't you guys change, while I dash into the kitchen." He did not miss the grateful looks of Jace and Alec, who half-heartedly agreed.

* * *

 

When Alec opened his eyes the next morning, he found Clary leaning against the headboard, studying him. Jace sat splayed out in his chair and considering the angle his neck, his parabatai was in for a world of hurt once he woke. The vampire was nowhere to be seen, most likely off to the university, since his friend seemed fine again. Trying to brush the sleep out of his eyes, Alec suppressed a yawn. "How do you feel? Are you in any pain? Do you want breakfast? I could get you coffee."

"I feel concerned," she replied. "Lose the shirt, please."

Automatically, Alec rose and pulled off the turtleneck. He shivered slightly when Clary's fingertips brushed over his latest set of runes. "Why?"

"Because you're acting like, … you're acting like before." She replied quietly, as to not wake Jace.

Raising his eyebrows, he inquired, "Because I'm still here?"

"Because you look horrible," she snapped, then took a deep breath to calm herself. "Have you slept at all? These runes were supposed to let you make rational decisions without prioritising my input."

Alec relaxed when he realised that his liege was not displeased but worried. Rising, he made a conscious effort to role his shoulders in an attempt to get rid of the lingering tension. Then claimed a place on her bed. When he reached for her hand, she allowed it with apparent reluctance. "If it were Izzy in your place, would you expect me to leave, take a languid dinner and then sleep through the night?"

"Of course not, Izzy is your sister!"

"And you are my Clary."

When she tried to protest, Alec raised his hand. "I know what you're going to say. That it's just the rune. That a month ago, we tolerated each other, but certainly were not friends. But now … you said we _are_ family. I know this was forced on you but … it's true, nevertheless. Isn't it?"

With a tiny smile, Clary caressed Alec's face when promising, "Yes, it is."

Leaning into her hand for a second he wanted to know. "Then why can't you accept my concern for you on the same level you can accept it for Izzy?"

"Because it's artificial!"

"That does not make it any less true for me!" Gesturing towards his throat, he added, with a sheepish smile. "Alexander Fairchild, remember? I'm afraid you will have to get used to me going into overprotective-slash-concerned-slash-overbearing-big-brother-mode whenever you are hurt. Maybe you and Izzy can start a support group."

With a small chuckle, the redhead leaned back again. "I just don't want to coerce you into something you would never do without the rune."

"Like care for you? I always did that, not just for Jace's sake. After Valentine, after he …. I felt him slipping away. It was like my soul was torn in half. But you brought him back. Nothing I can do will ever make us even on that account. The rune enhances this feeling … I'm afraid it's out of our hands now." At her dejected look, Alec squeezed her hand comfortingly. "Look, I know how much time and energy you have put into finding and creating runes that would give me as much freedom as possible. And I appreciate that. I really do. But Clary, you have to accept that you can only grant me so much autonomy. Beyond a certain point, we … we'll just have to live with the consequences of your decision of saving my life."

"I close my eyes for five minutes, and you have a half-naked man in your bed," Jace mumbled, groaning when he straightened his neck.

With a soft smile, Alec squeezed Clary's hand and rose from her bed. "I'll shower and change, and then I'll prepare breakfast. See you in the kitchen in half an hour?"

Mirroring his smile, putting an arm around Jace when he crawled into her bed, curling up beside her, she nodded, "Yes, thank you, Alec."

"How do you feel," Jace asked after a few minutes.

"Better, but I definitely could use a shower. Care to join me?"

Her blond Shadowhunter was out of bed in a flash, offering his hand, to help her up.

* * *

 

Clary was sitting at her vanity, viciously dragging her combe through her uncooperative wet locks. Having finally put on a shirt, Jace stepped up behind her. His bare feet made no sound on her floor, so she startled a little when he reached for the combe. Relinquishing it with a smile, she watched as her boyfriend started to gently untangle her wet strands. Jace seemed to visibly steel himself for what he was about to say. Still, it came out rushed when he finally spoke. "I wanted to apologise."

"For yesterday?" She sighed. "I know Simon gave you the whole 'Clary is a big girl'-speech. So, don't bother."

"No," he sighed, "about … everything."

Turning around, looking up at him, she reached for Jace's hands and squeezed them briefly. "Jace, what is this about?"

He hesitated for a moment, before nudging her to turn back around. It seemed to help him to have something to do. "About not being honest with you. I told you that I wasn't sleeping all that well, but I kept from you, how bad it really was. I might have spared you a lot … maybe we would have even discovered that I was the Owl earlier, had I just been honest."

"Jace …" she tried to comfort, but he shook his head, determined. "No, I tried to spare you … like when I did not tell you that we're not siblings after Valentine told me. When I left with him in the first place … I just … you always told me what was bothering you and it's not right for me not to return the courtesy. That's not … that's not how I want us to be."

Keeping herself from turning around again, Clary tried to meet his eyes in the mirror, but Jace only looked at her hair. "I understand being afraid of losing your mind. I even understand you going with Valentine. You thought you were protecting us. But the sibling thing … why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." He admitted, stilling his motions. After a while he admitted quietly, "I was scared, I guess. Though it seems stupid now. All my life, I have been swapped from one place to the next. Wayland, Lightwood, Morgenstern and finally Herondale. I have had three different last names this summer alone and with you … I thought that I had finally found my first real family. A family that did not abuse me. That did not have unrealistic expectations. I wasn't ready to give that up." Slowly parting her hair, he proficiently wove an intricate braid and sealed it with the ribbon Clary offered.

"You're good at this," she complimented with a small smile.

Offering a weak smile on his own, Jace replied, "An advantage of growing up with Izzy. Her hair right now is actually the shortest she's had it in a long time."

"Jace?" When he met her eyes reluctantly, Clary turned around again. "The day you met me, you saved me from a demon. As long as my mother was gone, you were nothing but supportive. She did not like you because she thought you were Jonathan. Yet you never held that against me. And when she died …" taking a wet breath, she forced herself to soldier on. "When she died you stood by my side and held me through it. Even when the others thought I was dead, you never gave up, grasping for straws with Luke. Whenever I needed you, Jace, you were there. So, no matter your last name, I will always love you." When she hugged him after that, he sank to his knees and burrowed into her smaller frame. For his parabatai, there might be runes, but he knew that there was no magic on earth that could make him love Clary Fairchild more than he already did, and he thanked the angels, every day, for having brought her into his life.

* * *

 

"What do you call this one?" Alec wanted to know when Clary was burning another rune into his skin. It barely tickled. Taking off the day after the fight with the vampires, they were back in the training rooms of the Institute.

"Freedom of Runes," she explained, watching the rune merge with the remaining design with a satisfied grin. "Go on, test it."

Pulling his stele, Alec brushed over his speed-rune and laughed overjoyed when the design lit up with angelic energy. Following his eyes to where Jace was pounding one of the punching bags, she slapped his arm encouragingly, "Go for it, tiger."

Izzy stepped up to Clary a minute later, watching the two parabatai having a go at each other. "I see you've activated Alec's speed rune."

"No," the redhead grinned, "Alec activated Alec's speed rune."

"Good job, Fairchild," The Shadowhunter offered her hand for a high-five. Afterwards, she asked, "Blade?"

"Bō."

"Very well. Let's get started."

* * *

 

Things were as good as back to normal. Alec proved himself - once again - a competent leader, whenever Clary was not around. With her by his side, he sought her approval unconsciously. When she offered an opinion, his first impulse was to agree. On occasion, Jace and Izzy had to nudge him, so he took the chance to clear his head before making a tactically sound decision. He still gravitated towards her and got tense when they did not see each other for more than a day, but all in all, it worked better than expected. Shared lunch or a snack in the middle of the day usually calmed him on days where Clary had no reports to give.

The redhead made a conscious effort to not interfere with Alec's work. Hence, she only heard about Magnus having been at the Institute after the warlock had already portaled out. Looking for Alec, she found him in his office, staring out of the window. "Alec, are you alright? I heard Magnus was around."

"Yes, of course," was the reflexive reply. Only his clenched fists at the small of his back betrayed his tension. When he turned around, Clary could see the confusion and the heartache in his eyes as he admitted quietly, "No, I'm not. I'm not alright, Clary."

Locking the door, Clary rushed over and pulled her thrall into a bone-crushing hug. There really was a lot of strength in her, considering how small she was. At that moment, Alec was beyond grateful for the power she was willing to share. After a few minutes, he felt ready to explain. "It's Magnus. I know what we meant to each other, but right now … it's like there is this fence guarding my heart that allows only you in. Max and Izzy are my siblings, and Jace is my parabatai. But apart from the three of you … it's wrong. I know it is! But I can't seem to convince myself to let anybody else in."

"Absolute loyalty." Clary sighed.

"Absolute loyalty," Alec confirmed, touching the runes at his throat that branched off his archaic Bind-To/Loyal-To rune.

"Do you regret it?" She asked after he had let her go. He had asked that question many times but never before had she voiced it.

Sinking down on the sofa in front of the fireplace, the Shadowhunter shook his head. "You saved my life. How can I regret that?"

Allowing him to pull her down beside him, Clary folded her legs under herself, rubbing his arm. "But at what price?"

Concerned, he looked at her. "You think this is not worth it for me? It is! You have worked so hard, and here I am, leading the Institute, fighting demons. I'm still myself. Able to do everything I have been brought up to do."

"There is more to life than fighting demons, Alec."

"I know," he sighed, kneading his hands. "But if it's all I can have, I will take it. I'll take it and make you proud … bring honour to the Fairchild name."

"Alec, I don't give a shit about the honour of our family-name if you are unhappy!"

"I'm not unhappy."

She took a deep breath. Why had these Lightwood-boys be so stubborn? "You are not happy either."

"No," he admitted quietly. "I'm not happy either."

* * *

 

Clary had locked herself in her room for two days, after that conversation. Whenever she emerged, she was covered in paint or coal or pencil. When someone asked her what that was about, she merely shrugged and explained, "I can think better if my hands are busy," before vanishing again. Had Alec not dragged her out to eat twice a day, she might have even forgotten.

Simon had peeked in the first evening but left long before midnight. Jace had stopped him in the hallway. "Do you really think we should leave her alone, like this?"

Looking over his shoulder, the vampire had shrugged, "It's not as if we can be of any help. This is her problem and her way of working it out. As long as there are enough paper and drawing materials, she'll be fine. But actually, you are right. I'll be back tomorrow with a few new drawing pads."

"Clary 'draws' her way out of problems?"

Chuckling, Simon reminded the Shadowhunter. "Don't all of you do the same with your runes? No, honestly, Clary can think best when her hands are occupied. It's like with me and music or you and training."

Frustrated, Jace wanted to know, "But what _is_ her problem? Maybe we could help."

"You'll have to ask her yourself. But I would not expect a reply if I were you. At least not in the next two to three days." Slapping Jace's arm, something that made the Shadowhunter growl, the vampire merely grinned. "See you."

After three days, Clary actually called Simon, who had peeked in every day, not interrupting her, only offering supplies. Breathless, she shuffled around, sharing excitedly, "'I think I've got it! Meet me at Magnus loft. Apart from Magnus, you know this rune-stuff best!"

Dutifully, Simon packed up his laptop and left 'Introduction to Accounting 1.0' and headed towards Brooklyn. Working as a Shadowhunter's sounding board seriously impeded his studies. Though he had to admit, ancient rune studies in Alexandria had been more interesting than accounting.

Clary nearly knocked down the front door, until an exasperated Magnus opened. "What do you want?" Even Simon could see that the warlock was not at his best. The shadows under his eyes were barely concealed, and his entire appearance shone in various stages of matt black. For a moment, the Shadowhunter looked apologetic, but then she soldiered on. "I need you to open a portal to Alexandria again."

"I'm not your private librarian," the warlock snapped, "You can't just call upon me whenever it strikes your fancy! I have business hours, you know!"

"I may have found a way to fix Alec."

The portal was open before the last syllable had left Clary's mouth. Once they were through and the witch lights were ignited, Magnus turned towards the pair and demanded, "Explain."

So Clary did.

It was a solid plan, Simon thought. At least the bits and pieces he was able to understand. But it all depended on her idea that the right combination of runes could somehow 'undermine' the Loyalty rune that had started this entire mess. Simon bounced from one shelf to the other, picking up scrolls and tomes that would help to determine if this was worth the risk.

It was nearly midnight when Simon spoke up. "Ahm … I'm sorry, guys, but … I need to eat."

Trading a glance, Magnus stated. "We have finished anyway," while Clary piled up her sketches and notes and copies of the texts that might become relevant in the future, stuffing them into her study bag. At the loft, she kissed Simon on the cheek, before claiming Magnus' dinner table to continue. The warlock took his time to pour himself a drink. "Go. Clary won't go anywhere tonight."

"Should I, …" Simon shrugged. "Should I bring food on my way back?"

Creating a plate of little nibbles, Magnus shrugged, "In a few hours, breakfast will certainly be appreciated."

* * *

 

Clary had a pillow-crease on her left cheek when Simon returned around seven the next day. With a yawn, she snatched a foamy latte and a blueberry muffin, before disappearing again. Magnus looked a little better. He was styled to perfection again, with a blood-red shirt and tight leather pants. He looked like a predator, when he stalked over, prompting the vampire to hold out the remaining dishes. Cautiously, Simon admitted, "I did not know what you like, so I brought something sweet and something savoury. This is a Cappuccino, but there is Espresso as well."

For a few moments, Magnus just studied him, before taking the offered goods. "Much appreciated," before he followed Clary.

Ten minutes later, Alec rushed through the front door, Jace hot on his heels. "Magnus? Magnus! Is everything alright? Clary sent me a text to come immediately. Did something happen?" Anxiety seemed to follow the Shadowhunter like a cloud. Agitated, he paced the loft. Jace nearly mirrored his parabatai's distress but did not add to his shouting. He merely followed hot on Alec's heels, looking around. When Clary and Magnus stepped into the living-room, Alec visibly sagged and pulled Clary into the tightest of hugs. "First you hole up in your room. Then you vanish for an entire day. You can't do that!" Slowly working up steam, he distanced himself from the young Shadowhunter, allowing his brother to convince himself that his girlfriend was alright. He allowed Jace to get in half a hug, before he berated, "We have rules! Outdoor missions have to be approved. Someone needs to know where you are at all times. I asked Jace and Izzy, but neither knew!"

Kissing her boyfriend briefly, smiling at him, she then stepped up to Alec and caressed his cheek. "It's okay, Alec. I'm fine. I was with Simon or Magnus or both. Nothing happened to me. Don't worry."

Pulling back, Alec forcefully shook off his anxiety. "Yes, … well. What did you do?"

Trading a glance with Magnus, Clary revealed, "We developed one last rune for you."

"What rune?"

"Freedom of Heart." The warlock replied quietly, studying his Shadowhunter.

Swallowing around a constricting throat, Alec sank down on the coffee table, as if his legs had stopped working for him any longer. He fisted his hands, to hide their tremble. Jace stepped up and put a steadying hand on his shoulder. "There is no such thing as a heart-rune. Emotions make us weak." The blond stated.

"Do you really believe that?" Magnus looked from one Shadowhunter to the other. When the thrall did not answer, he insisted, "Alexander?"

Pressing his lips together, Alec shook his head.

Claiming a place on the couch, facing the dark-haired Shadowhunter, Clary reached for his hands. "I know you want this, Alec. We both do. But this rune is unlike all others. Before, there was always the chance that they would simply not work. That they would throw us back to square one and have us start again. But this one is different. It needs to be strong, stronger than all the others combined. So, there is no way for it to _not_ take effect."

"But you can't say for sure what that effect might be." Alec understood.

Looking up at Magnus, Clary nodded. "It's supposed to … to open the gates to your heart, but …"

"What if it doesn't?" Jace interrupted hoarsely, digging his fingers into his parabatai's shoulder, scared for the man that meant the world to him.

"Then we will have sealed it." The redhead admitted, looking half at her boyfriend and her thrall. "Jace, Izzy, your parents, Max … you will lose your love for them."

"The only person left for me will be you," Alec whispered.

Pressing her lips together, Clary nodded. It was an all-or-nothing deal, and she hated that this was the best she could offer. But she had done her research, with Magnus and Simon's help. She had created a design that felt right; had the greatest chance of success she could come up with. But she could not guarantee that it would work. She would have to throw her everything into it and apparently, so did Alec.

After a moment, the Shadowhunter rose and escaped to the balcony.

"Am I the only one to think that this is wrong?" Simon asked after a few moments. "I mean I love you, Clary, you know I do. But if you asked me to choose between my mum and Becca and you? I could not do it. That is not a decision you have the right to ask of _anybody_!"

Slowly setting down his drink, Magnus sighed. "As much as it pains me to say, Simon is right. There should never be a choice between family and friends." Rising from his chair, he approached the balcony. "I think you should gather your notes, Clary. We are done here."

* * *

 

Alex had been running in circles in his mind for the last three days, but now that he had learned what Clary had been up to, he felt empty. He knew that he should go back in and share his decision. A decision that would change the rest of his life. He just … did not know _how_ to decide. He felt relieved when Magnus joined him. Surely the man, who had interrupted Alec's wedding would tell him to go for it. To risk everything for them to be together.

However, Magnus' voice was strangely devoid of emotions when he advised, "You should leave."

That was unexpected.

"You do not trust Clary's research?" He challenged, turning around.

Smiling sadly, the warlock shook his head. "On the contrary. Her research is as sound and comprehensive as it can be. If anybody can do this, it would be Clary Fairchild."

"But?"

"But the cost is _not_ worth the gain. Especially not for you." Turning towards the skyline, Magnus made one of his elaborated gestures. "Our relationship was always one of chance, Alexander. A Shadowhunter and a Downworlder. We would always be at risk. Always under scrutiny. Always under suspicion. You are the leader of the New York Institutes and the changes you have made in just a few short months since you've gained that position has benefited the entire Shadow world. With your family, your loved ones at your back, you can achieve anything! You can't put that at risk. Not for me."

Well, not what he had expected, but helpful nonetheless. "No matter what I decide," Alec reminded Magnus, "my family, at least that in name is in there." He gestured towards the closed balcony-doors. "Clary will _always_ have my back. But you are right. Our relationship was always the centre of attention, with my Shadowhunters as well as your Downworlders. It is definitely not worth risking all the good things I have in my life on _chance_." Smiling softly at Magnus, he leaned down and kissed the warlock's cheek. "You, Magnus Bane, are the strongest man I have ever had the honour of knowing. Thank you."

He could not watch his lover turn away. Instead, Magnus fixed his eyes on the New York skyline, clawing at the railing of his balcony until his fingernails broke and he drew blood. Even then he did not stop, because the pain in his hands was so much better than the agony that threatened to tear him apart. He wanted to cry. But he was not sure if he could stop, once he started. So, he breathed through it. One breath after the other until Alec's scream of anguish pulled him out of his self-mutilation and had him burst into the living-room.

* * *

Entering, Alec felt calm. The decision was made. Now it was all in Clary's hands. One look into her eyes and she knew. Still, his ever concerned liege cautioned. "This will seal the design. If we have forgotten about anything, you will have to live without it. You can activate your runes now, but after this, I will be the only one who can add new ones, at least the permanent ones. It's really all or nothing now."

He looked at his parabatai, Jace stood like a quiet sentinel at the door, studying his face. After a moment, the blond nodded.

Mirroring the smile, Alec took off his jacket and dress-shirt. "I trust you. With all my heart." Then he sank to his knees in front of her.

Simon demanded reassurance one last time, "And you are sure this will work?"

Trading a brief look, Clary and Alec glanced at him in unison and answered in one voice, "We have no doubt."

Reaching for his liege's thighs, Alec anchored himself. This would hurt like hell, he just knew it. Then he bared his neck and demanded, "Do it!"

It was worse than anticipated.

When he came back to himself, Alec noticed three things. First, he sat huddled between Clary's legs, her small hands caressing his back soothingly. His family had never been particularly tactile, but he liked her comforting gestures. So, he decided to bask in it for just a few moments. Second, his throat hurt like hell. No wonder, he remembered screaming himself hoarse. Of course, Clary noticed his flinching. The hand on his back vanished, producing a cup of tea. Gratefully, he took a sip and could not suppress a groan when the honeyed liquid calmed his burning throat. Third, Simon and Magnus seemed engaged in an epic shouting-match, while Jace still stood at the side, face impassive. "What language is that?" Alec whispered, not willing to hurt himself further by speaking up.

"Polish, I think. Simon's family origins from there and he had always been better at swearing in a foreign language."

"Could you make them stop, please?"

An ear-splitting whistle shut the squabblers up. Alec smiled at his parabatai gratefully. Then he rose and pulled Clary with him. He could see the scratches he had left on her thighs where he had nearly ripped her pants in his pain. But when he pulled out his stele to activate her healing rune, she brushed him away, "You didn't make it through the denim. I'm fine. How do you feel?"

He looked around, at Simon, … at Jace, … at Magnus, … at her. Then he took her face in his hands and stated with utter conviction, "I love you, Clarissa Fairchild. You are the best person I know. You are supportive and kind, and I am beyond grateful to have become a part of your family." He could see the tears welling up, and despite feeling a little entitled after everything he had been through, he chose to end her torment. Kissing her forehead, he stage-whispered, "But now I would really like for you to take your boys and leave so I can spend some long overdue quality time with the man I love."

Her eyes went impossible large when she realised what he was saying. Then she hit him on the shoulder, hard! He had to admit that it was well deserved. Laughing he commanded, "Tell Izzy that I will be at the Institute tomorrow afternoon the earliest."

Through her tears of relief, Clary stated, "I hate you so much, right now!"

"And talk to her about that support-group as well. Now shoo. And don't forget Simon and Jace."

When he finally turned towards Magnus, the warlock gasped, "But I told you to go."

Slowly approaching, since his lover made an excellent 'deer-in-the-headlights'-impression, Alec gently entwined their fingers. He could not believe that he had forgotten this, forgotten how good it felt just to be close to Magnus. "You also told me not to risk it all for chance. But you and me … Magnus, … this has not been 'chance' for me since the battle at the Institute. I love you, and that makes you worth _any risk_!"

"Oh, Alexander," Magnus whispered.

When they finally kissed, Alec felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec, Clary and Jace looked up when a group of Shadowhunters in formal attire entered the room. "Alexander Fairchild, your presence has been requested by the Clave."  
> "Here we go," Alec sighed, kissing Clary's forehead before hugging his parabatai. "Keep my Institute running while I am away."


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking at her son calculating, Maryse inquired, "Does this mean you plan on marrying her?" Not the worst outcome given the circumstances. Since her disposal of the problem that had been Valentine Morgenstern, Clary Fairchild had gained a lot of approval in Idris. Maybe they could spin this in a way that would benefit both families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had as much fun reading this story as I had writing it. I know that I went off on a tangent a few times, but overall, I am quite happy with the outcome. I'm still missing a betareader, so if anybody would be interested in the job, I would be grateful.  
> I know that I pushed Maryse back a little into the mindset she had in Season 1, but I have to admit that I like her going all 'mamma bear' on her cups, determined to get them the best position in their world. However, all ends well so rest assured that Alec and Clary will get their happy ending. And Magnus, and Jace, and Izzy and Simon and ... you know what I mean ;).

With a sick sense of inevitability, Clary wondered when she had gotten used to this. Used to seeing Alec injured, bleeding even since she did not feel like throwing up at the sight of the gaping skin on his chest. Maybe it helped that Jace did not seem overly concerned as he inspected the gash, pulling his stele to activate his parabatai's healing rune. "I guess we'll have to get used to it."

"How can you be so casual about this?" She berated, slowly relaxing as the trickle of blood on her thrall's chest tapered off. "Whenever I attacked him, it does not even occur to him to defend himself!"

"To be honest," Jace reminded her, "this is not the first time this happened."

"And that makes it better?" Clary snapped.

"No," Izzy soothed, rubbing her back to calm her down. "But it makes it predictable. A problem you can predict, you can avoid."

Wiping away the rest of the blood, Alec shrugged. "Chances of you outright attacking me in the field are slim to none. So you shouldn't bother, Clary."

Mulish, the redhead, folded her arms before her chest. "I still don't like it."

"Get over it!" Jace instructed. "And pick up your blade. You're with me."

When five minutes later Clary spat out blood, pressing a cold rag to her broken cheekbone, while the Iratze did her work, Jace remarked, "You're distracted. Usually, you would have seen such a hit coming from a mile away."

"Usually, you don't activate your speed rune during training!" She defended herself.

Sinking cross-legged to the floor in front of her, her boyfriend did not let her abrasive behaviour deter him. Quietly, he asked, "Clary, what's up?"

Taking down the rag, she twisted it between her fingers. "Yesterday, after Alec returned from his weekend with Magnus, he and I … we talked."

"About?"

"His name-change." She exhaled explosively, hanging her head. "He said that being addressed as Lightwood feel wrong. Like nails on a chalkboard, wrong. And since we have sealed the design, he did not want to take any chances."

"And now you are worried that that Inquisition will come banging down our doors to take you into custody?"

"No!" Clary shook her head empathically. "We filed our report. It was obvious that we had no other choice. I detailed the runes I have created for him and how little our bond influences his every-day life."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"What if they take the Institute away from him?"

Sighing, Jace claimed a place on the bench beside her and hugged her tight. "Clary, there will be an Investigation, because that is how the Clave operates. You know that by now."

"I just don't want him to lose the Institute," she sighed, leaning into Jace's warmth. "He deserves this position!"

"I know, Clary," he smiled, "I am the one who gave it to him in the first place, remember?"

"What if this was a mistake? What if we should have found another way?"

"Do you regret it?" Alec wanted to know. He had felt Clary's agitation and had interrupted his own training and joined them. It was always the same question they came back to, and Alec dreaded the day the answer would be 'Yes'. Looking at him with concern, Clary nodded. Apparently, that day was now. So, he steeled herself for her reply, but was taken by surprise, when she shared, "I will if it costs you everything you have worked so hard for."

"Clary," he sighed, claiming a place that mirrored his parabatai. "Leading an Institute is always a political position. If they want me here, a different last name won't make a difference. And if they don't, …" He shrugged, "they will find a way to get rid of me, no matter the circumstances."

The trio looked up when a group of Shadowhunters in formal attire that entered the room. "Alexander Lightwood, your presence has been requested by the Clave."

"Here we go," Alec sighed, kissing Clary's forehead before hugging his parabatai. "Keep my Institute running while I am away."

"Yes, Sir," the two replied with a smirk.

One way or the other, it was out of their hands now.

* * *

The first day, they heard nothing.

The second day, they were informed that Alec would stay in Idris for an undetermined amount of time.

The third day, Jace was nearly knocking Clary's door off its hinges, not long after dinner. She had not gotten a chance to see her boyfriend all day, too wrapped up in an investigation with Izzy. Now, that she got the opportunity to look at him, she was shocked. Jace seemed pale, jittery like he was running on fumes. Still, she could not have predicted his next words as he demanded, "I need to sleep with you, please."

She loved him, and they had spent the occasional night together, but Jace was still unsure of the physical aspect of their relationship, scared of risking too much too soon. So, she stepped back and asked reluctantly, "Do you really think that is a good idea? I mean you're clearly not at your best and with everything going on …"

But the blond shook his head insistently and interrupted her. "Please, Clary, I need to be close to you. I don't know what is happening in Idris, but Alec …"

"He is using your bond."

"He needs you!" The parabatai implored. "He needs you close, but you're here and …," clenching his fists, Jace made an aborted step towards the bed. He wanted to respect Clary's privacy, the boundaries they had set themselves for their building relationship but Alec … he hurt for her, and if Jace had any chance to make him feel better, he wanted to take it. "Please. We don't have to … I just need to be with you."

Stepping up to him, pressing close, Clary whispered comfortingly, "I'll always be there for you. You and him both, you know that Jace."

When he curled around her and burrowed his face in her hair, she could feel him shiver, but also how much her proximity helped. After a few minutes, she inquired, "I still have a report to finish. Do you think we could relocate to the bed?"

When Jace nodded after a few heartbeats, Clary picked up her tablet and leaned against the headboard. Patting the comforter by her side, she smiled at her boyfriend. "Come on, it's okay. Just let go, Jace. I've got you."

Slowly, edged on by Alec's needs and his own desires, but too scared to just let himself fall, the blond took off his boots and curled up beside Clary, putting his head in her lap. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I want to do right by you, but this is helping. Alec, I mean. This is really helping Alec."

"It's okay, Jace, I told you before. Whatever, you feel comfortable with is fine by me. We don't operate under a timetable. We'll do what feels right when it feels right. I love you."

Capturing her hand, brushing a kiss over her palm, he whispered, "I love you too."

* * *

When Jace woke the next morning, on top of the comforter, still in yesterday's clothes, he could not remember the last time he had slept as peacefully. He returned to Clary's room in the evening, bringing socks and his thickest pyjamas. And the evening after that. And the evening after. And when he lay there, in the night, he hated himself a little bit for wishing his parabatai would stay away. Just a bit longer.

* * *

Four days after his departure, Alec returned to the New York Institute. He used the attention he received upon entering to make an announcement. A few days ago, he and Clary had decided that only a policy of full disclosure would work in their favour, even though it would paint a target on both of their backs.

Alec's, because every Shadowhunter, Downworlder, Angel or Demon who was after Valentine's exceptional daughter, could use him as leverage to get to his head of family. Clary had proven insanely protective of him, and that fact had gone around.

Clary could be targeted because, as the head of the Institute, capturing his liege could force Alec to do … well, … almost anything. He was dependant on the redhead on a level uncommon for the last three hundred years. Maybe forever when you took into consideration that no liege had ever allowed his or her thrall quite this level of autonomy or power.

Together, they had decided that it was worth the risk. Either, they would have the entire Institute covering their backs. Jace and Izzy could sniff out trouble makers before any serious problems arose. Also, Alec did not want to lead, shrouded in secrets, like his predecessors. Once his proclamation about him remaining head of the Institute was finished, he retreated to his office, Clary, Jace and Izzy hot on his heels. The second the door had been shut and warded, the redhead stepped closer and studied him. For a second, Alec gave her a faint smile, but when Clary merely raised an eyebrow at him, he turned his face away. For a few moments, nobody said a word, though they all became aware of the mounting tension. "Alec," Clary stated calmly, "is there something you want to tell me?"

"No, I'm …," but before he could say 'fine', he bit his lips. He sighed resigned, when Clary pulled out her stele, brushing it over his arm.

His sister and parabatai gasped when the glamour rune deactivated. Clary, however, merely looked at him. He was pale, his eyes red from exhaustion and the circles under them were so dark they resembled bruises. Alec had only allowed himself a glimpse when looking into the mirror in the morning, needing the illusion of being at his best when dealing with the Clave. That he had barely eaten had not helped his overall condition either. Not sharing how bad he felt had been a little … alright, a lot like lying, so he expected Clary to berate him, fully prepared to defend his actions. It was not as if he could have allowed all of Idris to see how dependent he was on Valentine's daughter. The redhead, however, only asked concerned, "Have you slept at all?" And then finally, thankfully, she wrapped her arms around him and burrowed into his taller frame.

Closing his eyes, pushing down his overwhelming emotions, Alec could not still his trembling body, as he inhaled the scent of her hair, before admitting, "Yes, as soon as you allowed Jace to share your bed."

When Izzy's eyebrows shot up, and she started snickering, the blond defended himself, "Nothing happened! It was only to channel the sensation through the bond. We wanted to help Alec!"

"Of course, that was your only intention," Isabelle stated drily. Yet before anybody could comment, she decided, "We'll tell the others that you're bringing us up to speed. That way they don't expect to see you for the rest of the day. Jace, get him something to eat. Soup and sandwiches or whatever."

After they had rushed out, Alec asked quietly, "Are you angry with me?"

Clary tried to pull back, but as Alec seemed somewhat reluctant to let go, she gave up her attempt. "Why would I be?"

"Because I tried to deceive you?"

"Did you? Or did you just try not to show any weakness in front of the Clave and the others? I get it, Alec," she assured him. "You can't let anybody undermine your authority. I'm the last person who would want that."

"They tried, you know." He admitted quietly. "In Idris, they poked and prodded me; challenged my allegiance. They asked me if I had to choose between the Institute and you, what my priority would be?"

"And what did you tell them?"

"The truth!"

"Oh, Alec," Clary sighed. "I thought that with the 'Freedom of Thought' you could make tactical sound decisions without taking me into consideration."

Finally letting go but pulling her along so they could both sit down on the couch, her thrall confirmed, "I can. And I did, in this case."

"To be honest, I kind of doubt that." She admitted.

Smiling, Alec tilted his head. "In all of Idris, there were two; really only two other Shadowhunters, who were able to understand the runes you have created for me. So, me telling them, that I would prioritise the Institute over a liege, would have been proven but one thing."

"That you were willing to lie to protect your position."

With a shrug, he confirmed, "And since the Clave does not particularly like being lied to, I considered my best option ruthless honestly."

"So, they let you keep your job? Even though they know you consider me more important than the entire Institute? I find that hard to believe."

"Who is keeping his job?" Jace wanted to know, entering with a tray of tomato-soup, some crackers, an apple and cookies he had snatched up somewhere.

Immediately claiming the soup, Alec sighed contently at the first bite.

"I stole it from Kassandra. Don't rat me out," the blond admitted sheepishly.

Stuffing himself with soup and crackers, his parabatai promised, "Not a word."

When Izzy came back with tea and shortbread, Alec continued, "So, since they couldn't boot me out for lying, they went Spanish Inquisition on me. Especially about your runes. But since you never explained how you came up with them in the first place, I could only describe their effects, not their creation." He snickered at the memory. "Their two 'experts' went crazy over your 'Freedom of Heart'. Said they've never seen anything like it. They could even explain how it was working in conjunction with the other runes but couldn't - for the life of them - figure out why."

"So, they turned you into a lab-rat?" Clary growled.

"They would have liked to, but the successor of Inquisitor Herondale kept them on track. He insisted on reviewing my abilities instead of studying my runes and their origin."

"Now what?" Izzy wanted to know when her brother did not continue immediately.

"Now we wait," Alec shrugged. "I'm still the Leader of this Institute, at least until they find a good enough reason to boot me out."

"And Clary?" Jace inquired.

Smiling a little, his parabatai revealed, "They decided that she was a liability in the field, with me being bound to her. So, they decided to give her a desk job."

"What?"

"No!"

"They can't do that!"

Echoed through the room, but Alec just smiled. "I told them to fuck themselves. Clary's biggest advantage is her ability to come up with new runes when the situation calls for it. It would be beyond stupid, to keep her from doing that. Even the Clave had to recognise that. After I explained, we compromised."

Suspicious, Jace asked, "Compromised how?"

Gazing at Clary for a moment, the thrall revealed, "If … when I go out, you will have to be by my side. Well, actually, you and Jace. But since he's are my parabatai, that's a given. Whenever Clary receives an assignment, someone has to accompany her."

"So," Izzy summarised. "Nothing new for Clary, since we never go on assignments alone. And you get two guard-dogs whenever you leave the shelter."

Alec knew Jace, sometimes better than the blond new himself, so he did not have to ask if his brother was alright with that arrangement. His liege, however, was another matter entirely. "Is that alright with you, Clary? Usually, I will be able to give you a warning. But sometimes I will have to leave on short notice, expecting you to be ready momentarily."

Seeing the rising tension, the redhead patted her thrall's thigh patronisingly. "I'd like to see you getting rid of me."

After finishing his food, Alec sighed content, looking at his family. "Thank you, guys … for having my back."

"Always, bro," Izzy answered for them. "Now take a nap, and in a few hours, we'll go out for pizza and beer. I'll even call Magnus. I'm sure he would like to join us."

Smiling, Clary snuggled into the corner of the sofa, picking up a notebook and a charcoal pen, she had left there the week prior. Patting her thigh, she started to card her finger through the dark-strands of her Shadowhunter, when he folded himself onto the couch, before starting to sketch.

"Play something for me," Alec asked quietly, and to the soft brush of pen on paper and his parabatai's soothing melody, he was finally able to fall into a restful sleep.

* * *

When Isabelle went to bed a few hours later, Clary quietly called out to Jace. The blond was at her side in a heartbeat. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine," she whispered. "But you have been playing for hours. Don't you want to take a break?"

Kneading his fingers, proving that they indeed were hurting by now, Jace shook his head. "It's okay. Alec always sleeps better when he could hear me, after a crisis. Sometimes the bond just isn't enough."

Looking at her exhausted thrall, Clary suggested, "So let's go to sleep. If you're right next to him, he should feel safe enough. Don't you think?"

Something flickered over Jace's face, too fast for Clary to identify, before he shook his head. "He needs you more than me right now. If that's okay for you, I'd rather you allow him to sleep in your room than in mine."

"Jace," the redhead rolled her eyes. "You've stayed with me for the last three days. Surely one more night won't hurt."

"Oh, … I, … fine. Let me pick him up so we can go to bed."

Together they wrestled an exhausted Alec into his pyjamas. He did not even put up a fight when Jace hushed him after opening his trousers.

"Thank you for doing this for him," Clary whispered, once they had slipped under the covers.

"He's my parabatai," the blond shrugged easily. "There is nothing I would not do for him."

Reaching over Alec's body, who lay curled around her, Clary wove her and Jace's finger's together and squeezed tenderly. "He's lucky to have you."

And at that moment, Jace felt that that feeling was entirely mutual.

* * *

The next day found the four young Shadowhunters in the operating centre of the Institute, discussing demon-sightings from all over the city. Tatjana and Raj had just brought in the latest reports, and Clary suggested surveillance. Alec, however, shook his head. "The Clave will never go for that. For now, nothing has happened, and if we increase our presence in the streets, we can hopefully deter these demons from killing someone."

A small part of him wanted to berate himself for the joy he felt, as Clary smiled at him proudly. Not because he had not liked her plan, but because he had hesitated merely half a second before shooting it down. He was a grown man. His heart should not beat faster, just because his liege was complementing him non-verbally.

Said heart tumbled straight into his boxers when the disapproving voice of Maryse Lightwood echoed through the room. No matter how much their relationship had improved after their de-runing. She still could make him feel like an unruly child who had not given his best. "Alexander, Gideon Lightwood. I would like an explanation for this!" Stepping up to the table, she slapped a signed and confirmed document on the table, where the Clave had informed her that her oldest son had changed his name.

Not looking up from the latest report, Alec sighed before stating calmly, "That appears to be a copy of the new name certificate I have requested in Idris."

"What, by the angel, has prompted you to bind yourself to Valentine Morgenstern's daughter? And without telling us about it!" His mother snidely demanded to know.

The dark-haired Shadowhunter had to fight down a growl because he … the bond … both insisted that nobody should speak about his Clary with so little respect. He stilled when a small hand covered his clenched fist. Quietly, his liege asked, "Do you maybe want to take this to your office?" Taking a deep breath, he straightened and looked at his mother, aware that the design of the archaic Bind To/Loyal To rune was visible at his throat. He heard Maryse gasp before he turned his back and stalked off. It calmed him when he felt Clary falling into step behind him.

Once the door closed behind them, his mother insistently hissed at Clary, "The Lightwoods might have worked with the Fairchild family in the past, but you have neither the influence nor the position to make an advantageous match for my son! How dare you! The simple fact that you have defeated Valentine does not elevate you into an according position!"

Alec was ready to start yelling at his mother, when Jace entered from the side, putting a halting hand on his chest. "'Freedom of Thought', remember? You don't want to have a go at your own mother."

"She's insulting Clary," he roared, but his liege insisted calmly, "Because she does not understand." Stepping around the former Shadowhunter, Clary mirrored Jace's position. "I bound you to me. Took your freedom. Took your will. Took your name! If something like that happened to Max, you would move heaven and earth to make it right."

Caressing Clary's face, something she allowed with a smile, Alec breathed in the soothing scent of her hair, before he stepped free of the couple that had tried to detain him. "You will want to sit down, mother. This may take a while. Clary, could you bring your rune-designs, please? And Jace, find the video from that night."

Within a few minutes, everything was set up. Once Isabelle and Max had joined them, Alec, Jace and Izzy started to tell the story right from the beginning, starting with Alec's plea for forgiveness for Jocelyn Fairchild's death.

* * *

Jace described the demon and how scared he had been that his parabatai's guilty would lead to him simply evaporating into the cosmos without a chance for redemption.

Izzy shared how Magnus had come up with the archaic rune and how the mere thought of Alec belonging to Clary, of receiving a chance to make it up to her, had halted his self-destruction. She also recalled how all three of them, Jace, Magnus and herself, had had to plead with Clary for her to brand their brother with the rune since the idea of basically enslaving Alec had made her sick to the core.

After that, Alec started his part. He began with him waking at the infirmary, unable to speak. "Clary was there when I woke, and it felt good … right to have her by my side. It was hard for me to concentrate, but I brushed it off as a consequence of my run-in with the demon. Things turned bleak, however, every time she stepped out. It was like a physical ache not to be near her. And the bond somehow managed to convince me, that it was all my fault. That somehow, _I_ had made a mistake, or my liege would not have left me. Then, two days later, Clary went to study the bond and did not return for more than twenty-six hours."

"I did not know," the redhead apologised, reaching for Alec's hand. "I just wanted to find a way to get Alec out of this frightening state. I was not aware of the consequences of leaving him behind."

Having just sat and listened, Maryse now wanted to know, "What consequences?"

Sharing a somewhat distressed look with his adoptive siblings, Jace revealed, "In the old days, when the Institutes were highly competitive, Alec's rune was used for the spoils of war. It made the victim but an extension of his master's will and without a master present, he or she had no purpose. So, Alec just … kind of shut down. He did not eat, did not drink barely slept at all. All the while he was convinced that _he_ had made a grave mistake for Clary to leave him."

When Alec's mother looked at her accusingly, Clary raised her hands. "I did not know, and the moment I learned, I rushed back."

Smiling at her friend, Isabelle remembered, "She made sure that Alec drank and ate and slept and - by having him prepare breakfast the next morning - convince him that he had atoned for any mistakes."

"Afterwards, I gave him his first rune."

"What rune?" Maryse inquired.

"Freedom of Mind," Alec smiled at his liege, squeezing her hand that was still entwined with his. "It was like … at the beginning, all I could think about was Clary. I was so desperate to please her that I wouldn't … couldn't even make the simplest of decisions on my own. Even what clothes to wear was a struggle. Button down or high neck? Would she prefer me in business attire or something tighter to show me off? Tea or coffee? Left or Right? I got so caught up in my own head, that I could not do anything. At least not until she gave me the first additional rune."

"How did you know what to do?" Alec's mother studied Clary. As far as she knew, nobody studied the first runes any longer. "There has not been a thrall for the last three hundred years."

"Magnus," Clary shrugged as if it was obvious. "He opened an old library for me. So I got a chance to study the runes Raziel gave to his first hunters."

"What library?"

And though the redhead's first instinct was full disclosure, this was Alec's mother, after all, she snapped her mouth shut after a heartbeat and something in Alec unclenched. He had wanted to stop her, to protect Magnus' secrets, but … but Clary was his liege. He felt that he did not have the right to issue a demand when it was not about Shadowhunter business. Once again, he felt justified in his faith when she smiled and shrugged apologetically, "If Magnus wanted that particular library to be public knowledge, it would be."

Disapproving, Maryse Lightwood berated, "So you are keeping the secrets of a warlock, though they could help your fellow Shadowhunters?"

All young hunters in the room tensed, but Clary merely shook her head, "No, I am keeping the secrets of a friend, who entrusted me with ancient knowledge to help my thrall. I think that deserves my loyalty."

Clearly not liking this one bit, the woman still tilted her head and returned to the story at hand. "What happened next?"

"Alec getting hurt … a lot!" Jace sneered. He hated remembering that time. It had him feel like he should hunt down the demon that had caused this again and again and again.

Seeing the enraged look on their mother's face, Izzy appeased, "He got hit by books, took a slap from Jace. But as soon as Clary had an inkling of a possible solution, she studied and then immediately applied it."

"It hurt him," the redhead admitted, somehow feeling like this was the confession, where she could finally unburden her soul. "It was the second most painful rune-combination I drew on him."

"What was the first?"

Smiling at Clary from where he was sitting beside her, Alec kissed her fingers before brushing over her forehead to ease away her frown. Clary had given him everything. She should not have a bad conscience, because it had been a rough road. "Freedom of Heart."

"There is no rune for the heart."

Her children chuckled and corrected her in one voice, "There is now."

"But back to Alec getting hit," Jace backtracked. "'Freedom of Fight' and 'Freedom of Body' allowed him to defend himself again."

"And 'Freedom of Runes' so Clary did not have to continually babysit him in a fight," Izzy added.

"That was the second to last," Alec corrected his sister. "One came before."

"Freedom of Thought," Clary nodded. "So, Alec could be himself again."

"Explain that!"

Toying with Clary's hair, the leader of the New York Institute took a moment to gather his thoughts. "The Bind To/Loyal To Rune was different than what the Clave did to Hodge. His rune was supposed to hurt him if he delved into critical topics. A warning so to speak but in the end, constant torture had him abandoned us in a desperate search for relief. But mine …" he brushed over his throat and looked at his liege. "It changes the way the thrall thinks. The way he or she feels. Your liege becomes the most important person in your life. I hurt when I could not be with Clary. Every decision I made only cared for her approval. Had she demanded of me that I throw myself in front of an army of demons, I would have done so, without second-guessing the command. My faith in her was absolute."

Scared and hiding it rather poorly, his mother croaked, "And now?"

"With 'Freedom of Thought' Clary brought me back to myself. I can now evaluate the evidence and chose the best course of action without prioritising her input." An oversimplification, but since Alec was talking to his mother, he felt that he could get away with it. Especially when Clary subtly tilted her head to brush over his arm next to her head, a small gesture to show her support. "I would still step in front of an army of demons, but now I would consider the wisdom of the action. Clary's safety and opinion are now as important to me as Jace's or Izzy's. And I will do everything in my power to protect her."

Looking at her son calculating, Maryse inquired, "Does this mean you plan on marrying her?" Not the worst outcome given the circumstances. Since her disposal of the problem that had been Valentine Morgenstern, Clary Fairchild had gained a lot of approval in Idris. Maybe they could spin this in a way that would benefit both families.

Alec was rubbing Clary's back soothingly, when the redhead choked on her tea, joking, "You know, it hurts a little that you dismiss this idea so outright, Fairchild."

Cleaning herself up with a napkin, Clary bared her teeth playfully. "You already carry my name, Fairchild. Be content with that!"

Their mother looked slightly disappointed, but Alec could not help but feel relieved when his parabatai relaxed again, at his and Clary's easy dismissal of that idea. Jace looked at Clary as if she was the sun, everything right in his world. And no matter how much Alec loved her, he could never stand in the way of his brother's happiness. Jace had lost too much already. Clary was his to keep. Well … theirs. Getting back to their conversation, Alec shrugged, "Since neither my bond to Clary nor my change of name could be hidden in the long run, we decided to be proactive and inform the Clave, before anybody could go behind our backs. But it was just that, information. We don't have further plans on binding ourselves together."

"You mean your liege decided," Maryse suggested.

"Actually, it was me," Isabelle remarked. "Alec is a great leader, but if the Clave suspects him of keeping secrets, they will take the Institute away from him in a heartbeat."

"But if we went into the offence," Jace added, "They would have to prove his incompetence or get him to resign himself. Otherwise, his position here is untouchable."

And Maryse could not help but feel proud of her children to make that connection. Isabelle and Jace had always been outstanding fighters. But they had shown little political ambition. Alec was the leader of their group. It hurt to see her son lost to her. However, given the circumstances, she could not help but feel grateful. The Fairchild family was respected in their world. First for opposing Valentine, keeping the Mortal Cup from him, then for eliminating the bastard. No matter what she had said initially, Clary had proven herself quite extraordinary, and Maryse could not think of any Shadowhunter, who would have gone such great lengths to preserve Alec's dignity and freedom.

For most other families, her son would most definitely have become a slave. If not in name than in mind. All under the mantle of dignity, being bound by ancient regulations and runes. She really ought to thank the angel that a girl with angel-blood, someone inheritably good had become Alec's liege. So, when they were finished, Maryse cleared her throat and offered her hand to Clarissa Fairchild. "Thank you, for saving my son. I can assure you, he will make you proud."

Recognising the peace-offering, Clary shook her hand and smiled softly, "He already does. Every single day."

And if Alec blushed at that, it was enough for him to tilt his head to hide it, as his mother hugged him good-bye. Ever since he had been a child, he had worked extra hard, studied more than anybody else, put always a little more effort into everything, to make his parents proud. It had worked. On a few special occasions, Maryse and Robert had even told him so. But Clary … his liege seemed to always look at him with pride and affection. And he would not say … would not even think about his childhood in any other way than 'appropriate'. It had shaped him into the man he was now after all. But it was liberating to make someone proud, just for being himself.

* * *

Shadowhunters were Nephilim, warriors of angel-blood. But now and then, it was good to just take an evening off. That was the reason why Izzy and Jace were currently squabbling about who would get the chaise in Magnus' living-room, while Alec had put his head on Magnus' lap, as soon as the warlock sat down. He was hugging his lover close, watching his siblings with content amusement. When Simon and Clary entered, everyone cheered, since they had been tasked with fetching dinner. The snacks Jace and Izzy had stacked in the kitchen, combined with the amount of alcohol Magnus stored in abundance, would have easily tidied them through the night. But the former 'mundanes' had promised a treat, and now everyone was eager to find out what they had brought.

"I thought you were bringing dinner." Disappointment heavy in Jace's tone.

Simon however, spread unperturbed, a myriad of savoury treats over the couch table. The vampire chuckled and commented in a strange voice, "No faith the young padawan has. Trust his masters he should."

"What?"

Chuckling at her partner's confusion, Clary translated, "Don't knock it till' you've tried it."

To everybody's surprise, she and Simon produced a batch of cocktail stirrers and started to pick up cheese, cured sausages, olives or little onions in seemingly random order. Paired with a glass of white wine, and pieces of baguette, they offered a plate to Jace and Izzy respectively.  When both shared their unexpected approval, Simon started to explain the necessary ingredients of these 'Tapas' and what pairings worked best. Clary started another plate, even breaking down the bread to bite-sizes.

Magnus wanted to wait until she had had her fill, eager to try a few of her delicious combinations himself. Though he did enjoy Tapas, he rarely bothered with preparing the ideal combinations, content to snack on this and that between sips of wine. A blissful groan from Alec pulled him out of his musings, and he had to suppress a sting of jealousy when he noticed Clary hand-feeding, his boyfriend. A useless feeling, of course, he tried to remind himself, since, without her, Alexander would have been lost to him weeks ago. Either physically or emotionally afterwards. Alec was his heart so, in all honesty, he owed Clary Fairchild more than he could ever repay. He startled when he found her vibrant green eyes looking at him encouragingly.

"Open up, I promise you'll like it."

When he did as told Clary offered the perfect bite, just the right combination of savoury, tart and sour to accompany the wine she and Simon had bought.

"And, do you like it?" She asked eagerly while feeding her thrall another bite.

"It's delicious," Magnus admitted, but could not comment further, when she held out another bite. Dutifully he took it and nodded when her bright gaze wouldn't leave his face. "Delicious as well. But I like the first one better."

Nodding, she asked, "Alec?"

"Undecided," her thrall replied, still snuggled into Magnus' lap.

"You don't want to make this easy on me," she chuckled, and instantly Alec shot back, "Easy is boring, Fairchild."

She had just reclined with a plate overloaded with Tapas, when Jace relinquished his place on the chaise, stretching out beside Clary on the floor, putting his head in her lap, mirroring the position of his parabatai. "Why are you feeding Alec and not me?" Fighting him playfully, when he reached for her pre-prepared food, she instructed, "Because Alec is my thrall, so his well-being is my responsibility."

Magnus could see his lover opening his mouth, gloating at his parabatai when Clary fed him again. He was surprised when she offered another bite for him as well. "I doubt that you need to feed me too."

Topping off her own and Jace's glass, she merely shrugged. "Well, you could say that I don't feel only responsible for Alec's physical well-being but his emotional as well. Since you are paramount for his happiness, I consider your wellbeing my responsibility as well." Turning her back on them, after that seemingly easy explanation, she finally relented and offered a bite to Jace, who promptly licked her fingers, making her chuckle.

The warlock was grateful that he had time to gather his composure, without anybody's eyes on him. Hearing that he mattered to someone … someone who wasn't a lover or an old friend was … strange. Strange, but not unwelcome. They could all consider themselves lucky, that the three Shadowhunters had run into that very special 'not'-mundane at the Pandemonium all those months ago.

"It's true, you know," Alec whispered, startling Magnus out of his heavy thoughts. "Without you, I could never be happy." Reaching for his lover's hands, the dark-haired Shadowhunter brushed a kiss over the warlock's knuckles, gifting Magnus with one of his breath-taking smiles, before returning his attention to whatever movie Simon was forcing them to watch.

"That makes absolutely no sense!" Jace complained when a group of space-ships audibly tried to destroy each other on screen. "There is no atmosphere in space. You shouldn't even be able to hear anything. Especially not energy weapons!"

Laughing, Simon threw an olive at the blond, while he and Clary ordered in one voice, "Shut up, Jace!"

Magnus Bane looked down at his beloved, who lay lazy in his lap, leaning into his gentle caresses while stealing bites from Clary's plate. He took in the joy and laughter that surrounded him. For hundreds of years, the warlock had been content with but a few close friends. But by helping Jocelyn Fairchild and by extent her daughter, he had gained more than a few new friends. So, he lifted his glass and proposed a toast, a blessing - as much as a Downworlder was capable of such, "To family."

He smiled contently when he was answered in kind.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, and since ...

**Author's Note:**

> You came this far. You might as well comment.


End file.
